Obesity-proofing our children 174 provides a good selection of healthy, fresh foods. If there is one thing that is worth spending our hard-earned money on, it is quality time with friends and family over quality food. Modeling food as a mood elevating drug As we have touched on, using food as a treat sends children the message that food is something we use to make us feel good. A‘ treat’ is a reward designed to modify our mood and make us feel better. Parents unsuspectingly use food as treats both when their children are unhappy or hurt and when things are going well. We need to be very careful here as this is too close to how adults use nicotine and alcohol – and excess food is no less dangerous. Giving a child a treat when they are down and unhappy contains a particularly dangerous message. It is like saying to a child who has just skinned their knee,‘ Oh don’ t cry, here have a cigarette,’ or‘ Have a shot of bourbon!’ And of course this is pretty much what parents are teaching their children when they model this behavior of having food, cigarettes or alcohol to improve their own mood. Do you use food to make you feel better? Our children watch us like hawks. They love mimicking all adults, but no one competes for their really intense interest as do we, their parents. If they see us using a substance, food or otherwise, to lift our mood then be sure they will too. As I will talk more about at the end of this chapter, the best response – bar none – when our children are down is not to give them a treat; it is to give them our time. This way, as they grow up, they learn that when you are down or hurting, connecting with other humans is a powerful antidote. Instead of using food as a treat, use an entire meal. Why is this different? First, it is important to celebrate our children and their achievements at every opportunity. Celebrations often involve food, but they don’ t have to. Trips to the beach, go-kart racing or a drive to a park are all ways of celebrating.