I was aware I didn't want to go in too soon and slow things down so I waited a bit longer. Something I remember thinking was how manageable the contractions were. Using visualisation and breathing (from Hypnobirthing techniques I learned first time ) I felt totally in control. This is something I hadn't experienced first time around. And if I did feel one that was less manageable then my body made the following one slightly easier to give me a little rest. I remember being so thankful that my body was looking after things for me. Something else I was thankful for was my headphones. I had asked hubby to buy me some wireless big headphones that fully covered my ears. So I could block out any noise or chat from the midwives as they set everything up. I had spent a lot of time on my birth playlist and I still listen to it months later, it fills me with pride and happy memories. I decided to get into the pool. Things slowed slightly, but then the surges changed. I started to feel them slightly further down my pelvis. I knew baby had started to descend. At about 5.30am my first child woke up. Hubby ran upstairs to try and get him back to sleep, but sadly at that point I had hit the transition phase, and started grunting, then roaring, then screaming! (At this point I didn't realise I was in transition, I assumed I was freaking out because my hubby had gone) My husband later tells me my son thought me making all this noise was funny! (He did a great impression of me in transition when I asked him about it!)
My lovely midwives kept telling me quite firmly to stop screaming and I remember wanting to tell them to **** off! But they were right, as I screamed I lost my control and my shoulders tightened up. I eventually decided to really try not to scream with the next surge and continue my breathing. Just then my friend Emily silently darted past to pick up my son, she whisked him back past me and out of the house (I only actually remember seeing her foot) and hubby was there again. The next surge came and I breathed through it, and - hand on heart - I can honestly say I felt no pain after that point. I felt that my body was working but if I just let go it knew what to do. The rest was difficult to describe, I remember thinking "oh, this is what they mean" when all those books I read years ago told me that birth didn't have to be difficult, or painful, or awkward or an invasion of dignity. I finally understood. My beautiful baby came out about 15 minutes later. We did it.
There were some complications with me resulting in a trip to hospital after, and although hospitals make me very anxious, I was so happy with the birth that I really didn't care, it just felt like a slight nuisance. If like me you had a traumatic labour first time around, and are thinking of doing it again - have faith, it may all be very different
The next surge came and I breathed through it, and - hand on heart - I can honestly say I felt no pain after that point. I felt that my body was working but if I just let go it knew what to do.
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