Wedding Belles Magazine Volume I Issue 1 | Page 43

nothing about our soon to be spouse
that we do not already know and love.
I knew my future husband was
a procrastinator and I loved him
despite it, but it was a whole different
ballgame when we got married. It
went from forgetting to take out the
trash, to being late on rent (multiple
times). I couldn’t believe he could be
so irresponsible. Neither of us ever
expected me to become a “Nagging
Wife”… oh, but I did. Gentle reminders
turned into petty arguments. He saw
a side of me that he hadn’t before.
This wasn’t the care free and soft
spoken girl he fell in love with.
I married a man-child. I didn’t know
it on our wedding day, but in a lot of
ways, he was still just an immature
boy. He relied on his parents far too
often - left dirty dishes in the living
room - stayed up late playing video
games while I went to bed alone.
It didn’t take long to realize that
marriages, and people, aren’t
always beautiful.
Then Came Baby
Two years into the marriage, I thought
we were making plans for babies but
when I became pregnant, he wasn’t
ready. I began to change, my body
changed, and as I prepared for our
daughter’s arrival, he became distant.
Most of my pregnancy was spent
feeling unloved and unsupported. I
became resentful towards him. He
wasn’t who I hoped he would be
during that time.
But when she was born, it was an
amazing transformation to witness.
My husband went from not being
ready, to driving a colicky newborn
around at 2am so that I could rest.
He was selfless and worked hard to
provide for his small family. He still
played videos games, but he learned
how to do it with our newborn resting
in his arms, and he would stop to
comfort her when she cried. He
VOLUME I • ISSUE 1
even changed her diapers without
gagging. The distant gap that I felt
during my pregnancy began to close
and I fell in love with this new version
of my husband.
As he grew in the role of Daddy, he
matured as a man.
Three years later, we found out we
were pregnant with baby #2, and that
was a completely different story! He
jumped with joy! We celebrated. He
was present and happy. Everything
was perfect.
Bonding Over Hardship
Our second baby had health issues. It
seemed like the first two years of her
life we were in some doctor’s office or
hospital while she was getting tested
or prodded. Through it, we prayed
together and supported each other.
Those were tough times but nothing
could prepare us for what came next!
became the strongest man I had ever
seen him be!
Learning from the Struggles
The most beautiful marriages come
with flaws, hardships, struggles,
and tears.
Those moments help create the
most incredible, deepest, fullest
love. Hardships should lead to
deep conversations and open
communication. Disagreements
should lead to humility and
forgiveness. Struggles should lead
to respect and admiration.
At 38 years old, he’s not the 20 year
old college athlete that I first fell in
love with. I am not the sorority girl
that he met 18 years ago. I fell in love
with a boy, a man, a father, a coach,
and many versions of the same man
in between.
After ten years of marriage, when I
was five months pregnant with our
third baby, my husband lost his job.
He was out of work for six months
when we lost our house too. As a
result, we moved back to my home
state to live with family. Grow together through the changes.
Remind each other daily of your love
for one another. Learn to love each
new version of your spouse, even
when it’s not as pretty as you hoped
it would be. Understand, that he too,
is learning to love all these versions
of you!
We started all over and he became
our rock. The growth and maturity I
witnessed, gave me a whole new level
of respect and admiration for him. He After the “I do’s” be prepared to
love each other in all moments- the
hard and the easy, the beautiful and
the ugly. ❤
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