16 / Sport and Trail Magazine
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I have trained and shown cutting horses for a lifetime. As a professional trainer, I can remember sad trips home when I bombed out of a national cutting competition in Fort Worth, Texas. Sometimes I lamented my mistakes during the entire four-hour drive from North Texas to South Texas. UGH!
But then, over time, I became more and more aware of folks with real life-threatening trials. Wow. Being upset about losing a cow at the show seemed almost embarrassing by comparison.
As I thought about the trials of those people, I started to wonder about the meaning of my life with horses. What was the real importance of it all?
And what about the importance of external “success” and trying to hold on to winning? What about all of the pain of the bomb-outs in the show arena?
That pain was real, too.
There are all kinds of adversities. Some of them bring us to our knees for a long time. Others are short-lived.
Often, we feel alone and isolated. We think we are the only one who’s ever known such heartbreak.
But it’s never so. We are never alone.
Everyone has a rocky road. And you can bet those rocks will show up from time to time.
Adversity is a part of our lives. Whether our trials are large or small, they can be tough to navigate.
I used to say that when I get to heaven (assuming I go there (:-) I’m going to ask God why he made so many things so hard? Why can’t we just cruise in our lives? Why can’t it be easier?
I would never pretend to be a scholar or a theologian and answer those questions. But there is one thing I do know.
The real journey of our lives (including our “horsey” life) is a bumpy one. No one escapes disappointments and uncertainties.
I have also come to know that in each trial, there is a gift equal to or greater than the pain.
Although we would never choose the adversity on our own, in the aftermath of it, we can choose to hunt for the treasure … to focus on finding the gift that lies beneath the surface … and then be deeply grateful for the new-found gem.
There are two keys to opening ourselves up to receive the gift(s) in adversity.
The first is to be willingly to walk through the shadows.
When adversity hits, I encourage you to walk through that yuck with an open mind. Say to your heart, “Thank you for the gift even though I don’t know what it is right now. I will surely discover it. I will keep searching for it. I will find it.”
The second key is to be kind to yourself along the way. Be gentle with you. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.
You are awesome. You have a precious, personal, beautiful spark. During times of adversity, take care of yourself.
There is always a gift in every adversity. It’s up to you to be the treasure hunter who is kind to you. Be patient and kind with you.
BARBRA SCHULTE
BENEATH THE
Reader Warning #1:
As you dig into this article, you might wonder what the heck it has to do with riding success. If so inclined, I encourage you to read on.
Reader Warning #2:
You may never experience what I’m about to share with you directly. However, a new awareness of what follows may transform your worry over what others think into something profoundly different.
Surface
E
xperiencing this magic in the past was more meaningful to me than any national title could ever have been. And now, when I see this happen from time-to-time in the lives of others, I’m always awestruck. This treasure might be more impactful than anything else you ever experience during your journey with horses. But you need not receive it directly to have it touch you. You might even be the giver rather than the receiver.
For me, as a recipient … it was … and always will be … my greatest gift from the horse world. Let me digress for a moment and lay a bit of groundwork. I bet you can relate to one of the biggest challenges we all face as riders. It’s the fear of riding or showing in front of others. We wonder, “What will they think?” We might even talk to ourselves in unkind ways, i.e., “You’re not good enough to be here. What are you doing?”
We can feel isolated and sometimes embarrassed. Yet lying beneath the surface is a community of people who will roll out their hearts for you (and their help, and their time, and sometimes their pocketbooks) in a time of personal tragedy, or misfortune. They will stay steadily next to you for a long time to share your heartbreak.
My husband and I experienced this love and caring when our son Zane was ill and passed on. We were surrounded and held up by waves of love in many forms. During each of Zane’s hospital stays, I taped up every card he ever received. We called those walls our “Walls of Love”. I will be forever grateful to our cutting/horse family.
I see the same phenomena happening now in the horse world as families endure tragedies. You might be wondering what this has to do with riding well … and focus … and success. Here’s the connection.
A sense of belonging is arguably our greatest emotional need as a human. It’s something we all crave.
We want to feel accepted, respected and cared about. Yet in the “normal” times of riding, we sometimes suffer within because we fear being disconnected from others. But, if you are ever in need and receive an extreme outpouring of love from our horse family, you will be moved. However, you don’t have to be a direct recipient. There are other ways to tap into this amazing connection.
The first is to be the giver of kindnesses, or cards, or funds to people in need … and repeat some form of giving over time.
The second way is to know … really know … that beneath the thin veneer of our short term (and often imagined) fears in situations involving others, there is an entire world of people connected to you just because you ride with them. They are connected to you because of horses.
In a time of need, everyone’s true values always come to the light. Our good or not so good outcome of any one ride is pale in comparison to what people will think and do when the chips are down. With this knowing (tucked quietly in your heart), you can relax and focus on being a great partner with your special horse … every time you ride. That’s how tapping into this extraordinary phenomenon that lies just below the surface of normalcy can impact your riding.
The real heart of those you sometimes fear is really golden.
But you need not receive it directly to have it touch you. You might even be the giver rather than the receiver.
For me, as a recipient, it was, and always will be, my greatest gift from the horse world. Let me digress for a moment and lay a bit of groundwork. I bet you can relate to one of the biggest challenges we all face as riders. It’s the fear of riding or showing in front of others. We wonder, “What will they think?” We might even talk to ourselves in unkind ways, i.e., “You’re not good enough to be here. What are you doing?”
We can feel isolated and sometimes embarrassed. Yet lying beneath the surface is a community of people who will roll out their hearts for you (and their help, and their time, and sometimes their pocketbooks) in a time of personal tragedy, or misfortune. They will stay steadily next to you for a long time to share your heartbreak.
My husband and I experienced this love and caring when our son Zane was ill and passed on. We were surrounded and held up by waves of love in many forms. During each of Zane’s hospital stays, I taped up every card he ever received. We called those walls our “Walls of Love”. I will be forever grateful to our cutting/horse family.
I see the same phenomena happening now in the horse world as families endure tragedies. You might be wondering what this has to do with riding well … and focus … and success. Here’s the connection.
A sense of belonging is arguably our greatest emotional need as a human. It’s something we all crave.
We want to feel accepted, respected and cared about. Yet in the “normal” times of riding, we sometimes suffer within because we fear being disconnected from others. But, if you are ever in need and receive an extreme outpouring of love from our horse family, you will be moved. However, you don’t have to be a direct recipient. There are other ways to tap into this amazing connection.
The first is to be the giver of kindnesses, or cards, or funds to people in need … and repeat some form of giving over time.
The second way is to know … really know … that beneath the thin veneer of our short term (and often imagined) fears in situations involving others, there is an entire world of people connected to you just because you ride with them. They are connected to you because of horses.
In a time of need, everyone’s true values always come to the light. Our good or not so good outcome of any one ride is pale in comparison to what people will think and do when the chips are down. With this knowing (tucked quietly in your heart), you can relax and focus on being a great partner with your special horse … every time you ride. That’s how tapping into this extraordinary phenomenon that lies just below the surface of normalcy can impact your riding.
The real heart of those you sometimes fear is really golden.