We are Beautiful Magazine WRBM Jan Feb 2018 Issue | Page 68

- BOLD & BEAUTIFUL WOMEN -
I couldn’t imagine actually being in an intimate relationship. I knew what that would
mean for someone else as well and didn’t feel it was fair to anyone else, whoever
“Prince Charming” might be.
I sought alternative options after seeing my dad go through his battle and not getting
anywhere with medications. As a matter of fact, those meds were causing other is-
sues like neuropathy, osteoporosis, and severe depression.
I found some success and convinced myself that I could be the poster child for Natural
Healing. I still had bouts of flare-ups, weight fluctuations, and aches all over, but they
WERE lessened.
When I DID get an actu-
al diagnosis, there was
some relief AND shame.
I continually wondered
what I had done to cre-
ate it.
Fast forward to 2014.
I had established a career
as the Group Fitness and
Wellness Coordinator at James Madison University. My program area had over 100
classes a week, 43 Group Fitness Instructors who were all students, and 3 Massage
Therapists. My role was to provide leadership for them which also meant training, hir-
ing, and evaluating each Instructor each semester. For any Supervisor, that’s a lot! We
were also beginning our building expansion and renovation. From my interview there,
I had been told that the goal was for my position to advance and have the Coordinator
under me.
My life was full of stress in every aspect. More work demands. A staff that was more
needy that year. A break up. Quitting salsa dancing (my outlet) because I was just
too exhausted. Moving to an apartment closer to campus so that I could save money.
That apartment had mold spores. As a single woman, I needed my income and ben-
efits. I didn’t feel I could take the time I needed to go to the hospital. AND I knew that a
hospital stay would mean surgery...I was terrified. All of this equaled a massive flare up!
My body literally wasn’t keeping food down. I’d start with breakfast and lunch. By mid
afternoon, I was doubled over. I’d get home and throw up. I started to know it was
coming, so I purged to alleviate the pain...and I cried the ugly cry curled up on the
bathroom floor the first few times I did that. I had NEVER self-induced that before and
seriously wondered if I had an eating disorder. I didn’t want food!
I held on. At Thanksgiving break, I flew back to Nebraska to see my family. My emaci-
ated body had them more than worried. We decided that the best thing was for me to
leave my job, come home, and get help.
Thankfully, a friend had found The Eating Recovery Center in Denver, the best in the
world. I contacted them and within a week had an admittance date.
With the help of my parents and friends, I moved back to Nebraska and then went on
to the ERC in Denver.
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL MAGAZI NE
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