Wayne Magazine May 2020 | Page 22

A Nurse’s Reflection THERE ARE THINGS I WISH I WOULDN’T REMEMBER ABOUT THESE LAST 7 OR SO WEEKS... BY CHRISTINE LUNGER, RN ATLANTIC HEALTH SYSTEM’S CHILTON MEDICAL CENTER “ Like the desperate loneliness our patients are experiencing, both from the disease and the necessary policy we must enforce, that we can’t ease no matter how much we wish we could. Or the feeling that even after 17 years of nursing as a profession, and endless reading and researching what this disease is, I am still underprepared and flying by the seat of my pants. Or the fear in people’s eyes, learning they have a virus that could change their life as they know it, or simply end their life as they know it – they just have to wait and see which it will be… alone. Or the cold rush as beloved coworkers fall ill and you see them wheeled by on a stretcher. Or find out they are sick at home and vulnerable. Sometimes only hours after a conversation where they looked just...fine. The sadness in hearing about whole families, multiple generations, falling victim together- yet spread out and suffering alone. Sometimes dying in cascade. The defeat in the eyes of a terrific nurse who worked desperately, tirelessly, for DAYS to salvage... a body. The resignation...after changing your hopes and prayers for recovery and life to simply...please don’t let them continue to suffer. Please, please don’t let them linger and suffer. The feeling of disgust, knowing that no matter how expertly they clean and disinfect your second home, when/if this is ever “over”- it will never look the same to you again. It will never feel the same to you again. SPRING 2020 CHILTON MAGAZINE