inspiration
The lunch crowd has thinned now that it ’ s after 3p . m ., and as “ Fernando ” by ABBA serenades the handful of diners left , Willows talks of her struggles .
There was the abusive father who turned out not to be her biological father , her mother ’ s mental health issues , an abusive short-term marriage to the father of her second daughter , and the deaths of her dearest and closest childhood friends , all of which contributed greatly to who she is now . But those sad events did not compare to the biggest lifealtering event of her life : her teenage pregnancy .
“ I became pregnant when I was 17 ,” Willows says .“ I had just graduated from high school , and when my mom found out , she told me Ihad to leave the house before the end of my first trimester .”
With no home and no support from the baby ’ s father or her single mother , Willows says , she left and “ slept on people ’ s sofas .”
Luckily , she still had the waitressing job she had taken atage 15 . It was supposed to be a temporary part-time job to earn extra cash . She says she offered babysitting services to other waitresses in exchange for a place tostay .
At age 18 , right before she was to give birth to her daughter , a friend ’ s mother asked her to move into a spare room . “ She was my daughter ’ s first real grandmother .”
Two weeks after her daughter ’ s birth , Willows returned to work . She had to , she said ; she had ababy to feed . It broke her heart , so she introduced some color to her life .
“ I ’ ve always had apicture of her with me , since the day she was born . I ’ ve worn her over my heart all the time since she was born ,” she says , pointing to the button-pin photo of her daughters .
Shortly after , she added flowers to her hair . Then came the tattoos — the sun and moon to reflect her love of celestial things , an angel with her daughter ’ s name , a big sister-little
WITH ASIDE OF SUNSHINE Beth Willows , awaitress at the Pompton Queen Diner , has crafted her own style over the past 20 years serving customers .
sister , a cardinal when her friend was diagnosed with cancer , ribbons when loved ones died or became ill , and most recently a bright , colorful phoenix on her leg . This one represents her life , she says : “ It ’ s rising from the ashes .”
She gave her all to her daughters . Like many single parents , she was mother and father , teacher , friend and confidant to her children , all while she herself was growing up . “ We grew up together ,” she says .
She scrimped and saved her waitress ’ s salary , thankful for every tip from her customers . She didn ’ t want her girls to miss out on anything , including a trip to Disney World in Florida .
It was not easy , but worth every minute , she says . She says she nursed both girls , and when her second daughter would not take a bottle , she took a long break from work every four hours to rush home to feed her .
Willows eventually made some peace with her mother , who died last Christmas Eve .
RESILIENCY
Willows kept her job as a waitress because it allowed her to “ mold ” her schedule to raise her daughters .
She worked really long shifts to pay for babysitters , preschool and all the things her daughters needed , including a home .
In 1999 , at the age of21 , Willows bought a home in West Milford for $ 135,000 . Her daughter , she says , needed ayard to play in . That yard is now filled with lots of plants , including milkweed , and the butterflies she raises .
“ I think they are magnificent ,” she says . “ You watch it change from one creature into something completely different ,” she says of the hundreds of butterflies , including swallowtails , monarchs and luna moths , that she has hatched and set free .
Her daughters , Cassandra , 25 , and Violet , 17 , know her story and appreciate her struggles . She is very proud of them , the single mother says . Cassandra was just accepted to MIT , and Violet is about to begin her senior year in high school .
As for Willows , she has found love with a single father of two boys . He has been her neighbor since she was 21 and bought her home . He was right there all along .
“ I believe everything happens in your life at aspecific time for a reason ,” she says . ■
28 FALL 2022 WAYNE MAGAZINE