Wanderlust: Expat Life & Style in Thailand April / May 2017: Health & Wellness Issue | Page 23

Health & Wellness
grandchildren, and they have even
employed a maid who is around to
help, too,” says Dr. Lily. “By establish-
ing a new routine early on, it is work-
ing out well for them.”
In most of these cases, the ex-
pat families who choose to relocate
their loved ones to Thailand had no
alternatives other than placing their
relatives in nursing homes without
the chance for visitors. By bringing
them closer, these expat families are
able to give full-time, attentive care
by employing a live-in caretaker at
a price much cheaper than that of a
Western nursing home.
Those of us living in Thailand who
cannot relocate our loved one with
dementia will need to solve chal-
lenges without immediately appar-
ent solutions. It is common to feel
helpless when unable to provide
hands-on support, but there are ways
to help the patient and their care-
giver, even from afar. Here are a few
of them:
1
STAY
CONNECTED
When it comes to staying connected
with a relative suffering from demen-
tia, frequency of communication is
more important than depth of com-
munication. Many short phone calls,
for example, are often better than
occasional, longer calls. Although it
might not be remembered, a phone
call with a relative living with de-
mentia can be beneficial in the mo-
ment. Each time you check in, you
can increase happiness and ease
stress, which are both vital to general
wellbeing.
Communicating through Skype
and FaceTime can also be useful, but
only if initiated before or during the
early stages of the disease. Dr. Lily ad-
vises: “If [the relative] has never used
this technology before, it can be dif-
ficult to learn to use it and he or she
may even find it frightening.”
Dementia sometimes presents
as hearing loss because the brain
stops being able to process what it
hears, which is another reason to
keep calls short. Get on the phone
for 45 seconds just to let your loved
one know that someone cares and
is reaching out. Be sure to introduce
yourself clearly — even if you are
close — and stick to simple yes-or-no
questions.
2
SEND SNAIL
MAIL
While phone calls and video chats
are both important ways of staying
in touch, so is sometimes reverting
to traditional forms of long-distance
communication — such as hand-
written letters or cards. Hard copy
mail allows your loved one to absorb
information at his or her own pace,
which can increase comprehension.
Try sending photos of you, your fam-
ily and your daily life in Thailand, too,
with names and locations labeled on
the back of each photo for reference.
3
PAY A VISIT
Whenever you can, even if it’s
just twice a year or so, fly home to see
your relative and schedule plenty of
leisure time for your visit. You could
partake in your loved one’s favor-
ite hobbies or simply enjoy relaxing
activities together, such as looking
through photo albums. It’s import-
ant to stay within normal routines as
much as possible to avoid confusion
and disruption. For instance, it may be
less stressful to have dinner at home
instead of going to a restaurant.
It may be useful to plan for
many short visits while you’re back
home — as opposed to fewer, longer
visits — for the same reasons why
shorter phone calls are better than
longer more infrequent calls.
According to Dr. Lily, it can also be
helpful to go into the person’s past,
drawing on pleasant memories and
bringing back the things that they
used to do, know or find comfort
in. She suggests playing old songs,
watching films from their younger
years and reaching out to old friends.
4 BRING
SOUVENIRS
Bring souvenirs from your journey as
gifts. Small items such as tiny hotel
soaps, luggage tags, napkins or un-
usual business cards you’ve collected
from your travels are little talismans
that will remind your relative of you.
Though they may not seem signifi-
cant, these gestures might go a long
way in showing that you care and will
mean a lot to your loved one.
5
CARE FOR THE
CAREGIVER
While you are abroad, a sibling or rel-
ative may be providing primary care,
something that can be both exhaust-
ing and time-consuming. One thing
you can do when you’re in town is
to give the main caretaker a much
needed break.
“The care arrangements need to
set up so that the caregiver is not ‘on’
24/7,” explains Dr. Lily. “For expats, it
would be great if they could visit once
or twice a year to take over care du-
ties and give the primary caregiver a
chance to rest.”
If you don’t feel able to jump
straight into full-time care, begin with
short outings or day trips to learn the
ropes and gradually work up to lon-
ger stints. Simply by observing and
participating in the person’s care, you
will be able to grasp the daily tasks,
as well as identify areas where you
may be able to help from afar.
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