Girls are sensitive to injustice. They forgive mistakes if they are sure you are trying to be fair. They look for
fairness in the ways responsibilities are shared, in handling of disagreements and in responses to performance
and accomplishment. When possible, consult girls as to what they think is fair before decisions are made. Explain
your reasoning and show why you did something. Be willing to apologize if needed. Try to see that the
responsibilities, as well as the chances for feeling important, are equally divided. Help girls explore and decide for
themselves the fair ways of solving problems, carrying out activities, and responding to behavior and
accomplishments.
Girls need your belief in them and your support when they try new things. They must be sure you will not betray
a confidence. Show girls you trust them to think for themselves and use their own judgment. Help them make
the important decisions in the group. Help them correct their own mistakes. Help girls give and show trust
toward one another. Help them see how trust can be built, lost, regained, and strengthened.
Conflicts and disagreements are an inevitable part of life, and when handled constructively can actually enhance
communication and relationships. At the very least, Girl Scouts are expected to practice self-control and
diplomacy so that conflicts do not erupt into regrettable incidents. Shouting, verbal abuse, or physical
confrontations are never warranted and cannot be tolerated in the Girl Scout environment.
When a conflict arises between girls or a girl and a volunteer, get those involved to sit down together and talk
calmly and in a nonjudgmental manner. (Each party may need some time—a few days or a week—to calm down
before being able to do this.) Although talking in this way can be uncomfortable and difficult, it does lay the
groundwork for working well together in the future. Whatever you do, do not spread your complaint around to
others—that won’t help the situation and causes only embarrassment and anger.
If a conflict persists, be sure you explain the matter to your volunteer support team. If the supervisor cannot
resolve the issues satisfactorily (or if the problem involves the supervisor), the issue can be taken to the next
level of supervision and, ultimately, contact your council if you need extra help.
Girls want someone who will listen to what they think, feel, and want to do. They like having someone they can
talk to about important things, including things that might not seem important to adults. Listen to the girls.
Respond with words and actions. Speak your mind openly when you are happy or concerned about something,
and encourage girls to do this, too. Leave the door open for girls to seek advice, share ideas and feelings, and
propose plans or improvements. Help girls see how open communication can result in action, discovery, better
understanding of self and others, and a more comfortable climate for fun and accomplishment.
When communicating with girls, consider the following tips:
Listen: Listening to girls, as opposed to telling them what to think, feel, or do (no “you shoulds”) is the
first step in helping them take ownership of their program.
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