REFLECTIONS
REFLECTIONS : ON GIFT GIVING AUTHOR Teresita Bacani-Oropilla , MD
Towards the end of the year , a cluster
of holidays occur . The mailbox begins to fill up with communications from far and near , with one ’ s full name ( sometimes misspelled , but with a correct address ). One wonders if this deluge is interconnected with a timeline for release .
They come from heart associations , cancer research projects , across the seas for repair of congenital anomalies , for drug and alcohol addicted homeless shelters , group homes for the abandoned aged , orphans , etc . All are accompanied by well-written essays and pictures of what they do . Many have beautiful cards , shopping bags , chances for winning local lotteries with the aim of sending back a certain amount of donation .
I get a feeling of gratitude for these people that do so much and are so generous with their time and efforts to alleviate the ills of the world . I also realize how I ’ m blessed with comforts and the good life in comparison to their clients .
What to do ?
Gifts are tokens of love or esteem . They define the relationship between giver and recipient . A 1-year-old hugs and kisses a stuffed lamb given by a grandmother . A 6-year-old never forgets the first ever dangling earrings she had , given by her aunt . A young brideto-be displays her engagement ring to sharers of her joy . A visiting dignitary exchanges gifts with his host , gifts that signify the best representations of their countries .
Donations , too , are gifts . People give or leave their money or possessions to favorite or significant heirs , causes or charities dear to their hearts . It is a way to perpetuate these causes and a concrete way of being remembered .
The small strand of miki-moto pearls Grandpa bought for Grandma in Japan will be cherished not for its monetary worth , but for the memory that the old folks did travel in their prime . I still have the jade bird pin with specks of diamonds for the eyes , that was a gift from their son and his wife when they went to Hong Kong . There ’ s the precious bottle of wine with the family name and crest brought by their daughter while backpacking with friends in Europe , as a memento of family bonding and fun times . These may be little gifts but preserve significant moments . Although not the equivalent of the Taj Mahal built by emperor Shah Jahan , a mourning husband , to house the tomb of his beloved Mumtaz , they symbolize the depth of love gained and love lost .
What now of the pile of mail that daily comes to our door ? Since gifts are tokens of love , methinks we must not feel harassed nor obligated . Instead , we choose among the many , those that we favor , and give with a light and joyful heart .
Happy gift giving !!! Dr . Bacani-Oropilla is a retired pediatrician and child psychiatrist .
NOVEMBER 2020 29