REFLECTIONS
REFLECTIONS: THE CALL
AUTHOR Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
At 5:30 in the morning, when
dreams of last night are coming
to a close and the warmth of the
bedcovers cling to a rested body,
the cell phone rings. The voice of
a niece announces in the dialect
of one’s youth, “Malapit na,” “It
is almost time!”
She is calling from the Philippines, on the opposite side of our
Western world, where the sun is just setting and calling it a day.
This niece and her sisters, practicing their professions in both
East and West, realized their mother and aunts would welcome a
reprieve from months of physical and emotional isolation, courtesy
of COVID-19. What about arranging an island-to-island, country-to-country
call similar to those done for armed forces assigned
overseas? They do it for their patients anyways, calling it telehealth.
That would mean easy instructions for the younger aunts who
are savvy with the ways of the electronic world, but rather laborious
one-on-one specific sequences on what buttons to touch for the uninitiated.
We are talking about smart but ignorant ex-professionals
between the ages of 75-92 of the pre-computer age, lost in a sea of
personal passwords, country and island codes, message numbers
and group codes. That would be like the kindergartener trying to
figure out the map of the planets in his fifth grade sibling’s classroom.
But they – the nieces – made it work, and “it was time.” Having
not seen each other for four years, now here we were! Siblings,
together! As a group. Alive on video! BLISS was the word! All were
mobile still. One had cut her own hair. Her hairdresser was under
isolation too.
Faces were scrutinized for signs of aging; a few wrinkles here and
there were dismissed if they could be covered by makeup. The scar
of a removed two-month-old mole was lauded because it wasn’t a
melanoma. Silver hairs among the black were overshadowed by hair
dyes or blond highlights. Another sibling was losing all of hers after
chemotherapy. She was wished gently wavy replacement black hair,
as little rootlets were popping up on her scalp. (“Be gone scarves
and caps!”) All eyes were functioning and glowed with enthusiasm
under bifocals. (“The better to see you, my dear, says the wolf!”)
Talk was without decorum, ideas piled upon one another. News
of growing grandchildren was exchanged with pride; old relatives
and friends who now live in the hereafter, mourned. Family jokes
were revived - the sting of some having lost their flavor, as people
matured.
This family’s virtual reunion emphasized once more that people
do need each other. Old classmates, childhood friends, colleagues
in medical school who shared ambitions and fears, war buddies.
These all stir up memories that make us who we are. What profit a
man with the highest honors, success and wealth if there is no one
to share them with?
We all need food for our souls to survive our imperfect world.
We are endowed with wisdom and creativity. Creating levity and
love for ourselves and others could be a starting goal.
Thank you, my nieces! You did well!
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired pediatrician and child psychiatrist.
SEPTEMBER 2020 27