MOTHERS IN MEDICINE
SPORT MOMMA DOCS, SPEAK UP!
I
have three athletic boys, and three athletic
schedules. I am not going to write about
the busy life - we all know that craziness
already. Instead, I write to encourage all
the momma docs to speak up when we see
abuse disguised as passionate coaching. I
wrote the following in the wee hours of
the morning after my kids won a state
championship…
Is it ever okay for an adult to publicly humiliate a child? A
verbal undressing for all to see? The kind that makes the kid’s
shoulders drop and his eyes turn down while he stands there
and respectfully absorbs it into his soul—because he is the child
and he/she is the adult.
I watched a lot of great basketball this weekend with a lot of
great coaches, and yet it’s 4 a.m. and my brain is stuck on the
image of one coach narrowing his eyes and raising his finger
to publicly berate a kid. That moment wasn’t even the worst
of offenses, just the one that stuck with me the most because
of the child’s slumped shoulders. You could feel his confidence
evaporate while the coach grew stronger. It was the kind of
moment that makes a spectator or parent pause and think,
“That coach is crazy,” while feeling sorry for the kid—a very
typical scene in youth sports.
AUTHOR Shannon C. Lynn, MD
Now I know I’m super lucky that my kids are not treated this
way, and I have not been challenged to deal with a situation
where a coach publicly humiliated my child, but I would hope
that I would have the courage to stand up for my child and
walk out of that gym with my child in hand. Some will say that
it “builds character” but really, what kind of character? The
kind where you grow up to repeat the same behavior because
it “builds character”? Some will say, “But my child loves the
coach,” or “My child ignores it all.” Maybe that child just adheres
to social norms and accepts the abuse of an adult because that
is what children must do.
I wish refs could “T” up a coach for abusive behavior. They
don’t tolerate it when this behavior is directed at them, so why
should they stand there and watch a coach inflict it on a child?
Parents: have courage. Stand up for your child. It doesn’t have
to be this way. Don’t confuse passion with abuse.
Young momma docs just starting out in youth sports: please
speak up when you see a coach out of control. Write a note to the
school principal or the league manager. Be specific in that note and
describe the reaction of the child. Ask for follow-up on how the
behavior will be addressed. Sign it with your MD.
Dr. Lynn practices concierge medicine with UofL Physicians/SignatureMD.
10 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE