MOTHERS IN MEDICINE
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the two boys who first made me a mother. While I did not enter
motherhood in the traditional sense that many envision, all three
boys are very much ours and very much loved.
As a young mother and new physician, I was naïve on two fronts.
First, I incorrectly believed I could compartmentalize to be a doctor
only at the hospital and only a mom at home. I learned very quickly
that, despite hitting the lottery by having a husband who cooked,
cleaned and taxied, I was everything in all spaces. I was still mom
when I was in the ICU caring for other people’s children. When I
was at home, my work never fully stayed at the hospital. While at
the hospital, regardless of the circumstances, I am still mom. Last
month, I paused rounds, called home and grounded one of my
now teenagers from his cell phone while his father was on phone
conferences. I was both mom and Dr. Henderson simultaneously.
Secondly, I was naïve to think I knew how to parent young Black
men in America. Parenting Tedi and Chernet, both born in Africa
but raised in America, to be strong, proud and kind Black men - in
the face of a culture that views them as scary, menacing, risky and
less than - has been the greatest burden of my life. I say this as a
white woman with the privilege of seeing my sons’ experiences and
realizing I will never fully grasp what Black mothers and fathers
have felt for generations. Leaning on my own personal experience
is not an accurate reflection of the life they are walking through.
My white-washed struggles pale in comparison to being told not
to wear a hoodie when walking to the YMCA, not being allowed
to play with toy guns or being accused of property destruction because
of their skin color (all of these things have happened in their
short lives). Being their mother has spurred within me the desire
to protect them, to advocate for them and to fight to destroy the
racism they, and so many others, face.
My journey as a mother and physician has not been one of ease,
simplicity or tradition. Like all working parents, we currently find
ourselves navigating a pandemic with three school-age children. We
both have busy careers with my husband working as the Communications
Director for the Lieutenant Governor of Kentucky, and I
am at Norton Children’s Hospital in the Cardiovascular Intensive
Care Unit. Our boys continue to make me a much better doctor.
Similarly, the patients I care for make me a stronger, more loving
mother. If there is anything to be gleaned from my journey it is this:
life may not always evolve the way you envisioned but adapting,
growing, advocating, loving and realizing we belong to one another
is a worthy pursuit.
Dr. Henderson practices pediatric and cardiac critical care medicine at Norton
Children’s Hospital.
12 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE