REFLECTIONS
REFLECTIONS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
AUTHOR Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
It’s summertime in Kentucky. Cardinals flit
in the gardens, startling us with streaks of
red and colorful songs as they proclaim
their territories. Little chipmunks scurry
along fences, while bigger squirrels almost
fly from branch to branch among
the trees surrounding the back garden of
our assisted living facility.
On the ground are old people in their late 80s, 90s, and early
100s. These erstwhile vibrant professionals, veterans, business people,
sitting in garden chairs, are six feet apart, with masks on their
faces, their walkers beside them. They consider themselves lucky as
just a week before, only two people were allowed outside at a time
with a staff member to accompany them.
Many take note of familiar faces that are absent or of a single person
that used to be a couple, and silently drop a tear or two or pray.
The anticipation of being able to visit with family and friends
is high on our minds, for we have been isolated for our own good
for the past three months.
Fortunately, this particular facility, due to strict rules, has not
had a single coronavirus illness nor death among residents or staff!
Consider how other facilities both in town and other cities have been
ravaged by this virus that has caused so much pain and anguish.
People on the outside ask, “What do you do all day?” MUCH!
Those lucky enough to know how to manipulate cell phones, Face-
Time, and Facebook etc., are able to communicate to the outside
world. Woe unto those who don’t, which a lot of our generation
can’t do. Ordinary phones in each room do the trick as long as the
outside numbers of relevant phones are plastered “large and in
charge” near the room phone.
Activities of daily living take time to accomplish now. Meals
served in the individual rooms have to be consumed, bedtime rituals
need some help. Otherwise we have TV and recreational things
offered by the activities department to stimulate the mind’s fading
memory and skills. Residents, of course, have abandoned their
plans of having beloved ones around them when they are dying.
They don’t expect their children or grandchildren to be around to
hold their hands, caress their brows nor moisten their lips. That is
verboten under isolation rules.
Some therefore, now more familiar with death, are more prone
to express loving thoughts, instructions and reminders while still
able to do so.
In retrospect, one thinks there is not much difference now
between those who are more free outside the confines of nursing
homes and such, and us. They still live in a world of constraints and
relative isolation; they still fear the contamination of the coronavirus.
They too are afraid of iconoclasts who aim to change traditional
ideas and institutions by violent means. They too worry about the
education of the young – our grandchildren and all children, both
young and old – and who, where or how to do it. They too fear
their rights to go back to their religious homes, their accustomed
worship, will somehow be curtailed. They fear job loss, poverty and
permanent homelessness. For now, we have a home.
Such misgivings are not easy to verbalize, but they have to be
dealt with. We all hope and know that conditions always change,
when the “sapiens” part of “homo” goes to work. May they work
for the peace and triumph of all!
After all, we have survived through the AGES! Haven’t we?
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired psychiatrist.
AUGUST 2020 23