p1
IT’S THE SAME ABUSE
SAME BAD RELIGION
SELF HATE WITH NO GOOD INTUITION
TOYING WITH ALL THE HEARTS CURRENTLY UP MY SLEEVE
I’M FLATTERED THAT SOME WANT MY LAST NAME
BUT FUCK, I’M STARTING TO BE NO GOOD WITH FIRST NAMES
I TEND TO FIND LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
JUST TO LEAVE AS SOON AS EITHER HEART RACES
LEFT SOME WONDERING WHERE IT WENT WRONG WHEN WE GOT
AFFECTIONATE
BUT HOW DO I TELL HER THAT NOTHING SHE SAYS IS INTELLECT
AND THAT I ONLY ENJOY HER WHEN WE GET INTIMATE
I’M SORRY BUT I ALWAYS FIND A FUCKING DISCONNECT
I ALWAYS LET MY SELFISHNESS GET THE BEST OD ME
I SWEAR IT’S NOT YOU, MOST OF THE TIME, IT’S ME
TROUBLED, TRAUMATIZED, RATHER BE DECEASED
BUT I HOPE YOU ALL FIND SOMEONE WHO LOOKS AT YOU THE WAY YOU
ALL CRAVED FROM ME
(AT LEAST SOME OF YOU)
I’M BAD NEWS, NOT FOR ANYBODY
CAN’T KEEP CONVERSATIONS, WITHOUT EXPLORING DIFFERENT BODIES
I HATE BEING THIS WAY
BUT WHAT IS THERE TO DO?
IS SOMEBODY OUT THERE FOR ME
OR AM I STUCK IN A WHORE’S BODY?
I’M TRYING TO COPE
HOPING I DON’T GO BACK TO COKE
I’M STUCK FEELING NUMB
WITH FALSE TO NO HOPE
I’M SORRY, I REALLY AM, JUST PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND
WHY IT’S HARD FOR ME TO GET EVEN SOMEWHAT CLOSE
MY HEART BLED OUT ON MY PARKING LOT MONTHS AGO
HAVEN’T FELT MUCH SINCE
IT’S JANUARY 2018
I’M ONLY HOPING THAT EVENTUALLY I’LL BE ABLE TO COME CLEAN
AND STAY CLEAN FROM ALL THE WHITE LINES AND WHITE LIES ABOUT
NOT WANTING TO DIE
WHEN ALL I’M SEARCHING FOR ARE A COUPLE VALID SIGNS