Fred Wood
By Niccolo de Zan-Zak
Fred Wood was a very boring man. He was the well-padded, tired-looking neighborhood accountant with a very large nose and narrow blue eyes. The six-foot Fred had skin that was ghostly pale with the only distinguishing feature of this boring man his surprisingly large size 49 feet. Draped in an ill-fitting Marcus Pinkus colored suit, an almost black dark, dark navy. This is paired with a never-ironed, mustard-stained pink shirt from Target. For lunch he went to the same Italian deli, Mario’s, every day and ordered the same thing: a roast beef sandwich with avocado, mayonnaise, Dijon mustard and a different flavor cupcake for dessert.
Whenever he eats, he gets stains on his shirt. He spoke with a strong Australian accent and a lisp even though he is a native of Phoenix, Arizona. His resting face is smiling but whenever anybody else’s eyes rest on him they have a look of disgust on their faces.
But, by night he did something very few boring men do. While other boring men were sleeping, he baked cupcakes. Millions of flavors of cupcakes. He trained to be in the most prestigious cupcake show on Netflix, “Cupcake Wars.” Despite the fact even he believes it’s a stupid show, but if he wins, he has the chance to escape his boring life as an accountant and follow his sugar-coated, delicious dream with a cherry on top of becoming a cupcake baker. When he participated he said “I need no assistant, my whole life I have worked alone and I will continue to do so.” When people take that first bite of a Fred Wood cupcake they become instant addicts. As he stood under the studio lights he fantasized of his name illuminated, he would start a global cupcake rave and become an instant millionaire. He wanted to be different. He didn’t want to be just another baker. He wanted to push cupcakes further than they’d ever gone before.
But as stood on the studio watching as judges gawked at his unbaked batter and it dawned on him he was leaving Cupcake Wars in the first round, he realised he should have got an assistant.