Pontifex Shopping Spree
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A
What’s your water
bottle?
What’s your dream job?
A. Cat behavior consultant
B. Chief Everything Officer
C. Marshmallow engineer
D. Digital overlord
What are you doing
right now?
A. Yearning
B. Pining
C. Aching
D. Longing
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A. PipSqueak
B. Mr. Squiggles
C. Captain Zhu
D. NumNums
Yes.
A. Swell
B. Hydroflask
C. Disposable
D. No bottles; straight
from the tap!
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Choose a ZhuZhu Pet.
Choose a holiday
movie.
7 B
A. Something Hallmark
B. Polar Express
C. Die Hard
D. Home Alone
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How many binders
do you have?
A. 1-2
B. 3-5
C. An old folder
D. I buy new binders
every day
4
A. Is Greek the better language?
B. Ought Carthage be destroyed?
C. Is Zeus the GOAT?
D. Did you read the results
column first?
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If you got mostly As, then
you are looking for a sus,
or pig. Oink oink! Good
thing the Romans had garum;
this is going to be a hog-wild
sacrifice!
What’s your
astrology take?
If you got mostly Bs, then
you are looking for an ovis,
or sheep. Peaceful and the
symbol of grace, you’ll get new
woolen mittens afterward. Stay
warm!
C
If you got mostly Cs, then
you are looking for a
taurus, or bull. Dominating
and aggressive, this must be
a sacrifice to Jupiter—but
remember that he isn’t always
top dog (top cattle?).
9 D
A. Fake.
B. Technically classical
C. It’s fun!
D. I can’t answer until
Mercury retrograde
ends.
If you got mostly Ds, then
you probably stayed at
the temple and sent your
pontifices minimi to run these
errands for you. Congrats on
your power!
Eat a meal.
A. Breakfast
B. Lunch
C. Dinner
D. Brunch
Image: Eagles and Dragons Publishing
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