The problem of the rise of radical Islamists is very much in the news. The most widely accepted theory of the cause of the hatred and violence is “Penis Envy”.
Experts point to several studies that all agree that Middle-Eastern men have the smallest penises. Even smaller than Asians. Evidence studied from the time of Muhammad leads religious scholars to believe he was small, even by Middle-Eastern standards. These experts also agree that an influx of Western males during the time of Muhammad only served to increase the feelings of genital inadequacy prevalent with Middle-Eastern men.
What experts can’t agree upon is why the Quran promotes such intense violence. Well, a recent archeological discovery is shedding light on that. A scroll was found in a cave in the Arabian Desert.
It was carbon dated to the time of Muhammad and handwriting analysis proves that it was written by the prophet himself. Notable Islamic scholars have declared this to be a lost ayah (verse) of the holy book of Islam. After years of analysis, linguists have finally translated it into English. Finally, here is the text of the lost ayah of the Prophet Muhammad:
595 AD.
It’s my wedding night and Khadija was looking FINE! I got her onto her knees and elbows, positioned myself behind her to take her maidenhead. I thought there would be some resistance. I thought she would feel pain. But all she said was, “Is it in yet? What if we try this new western position called ‘missionary’? I might feel something.” Bitch! I kicked her skanky ass out of the tent.
619 AD.
It’s the night of my second wedding. I was sure things would go much better with Sawda.
She was waiting for me, naked on my bed and I undressed. She started laughing, pointed and said, “Just who do you think you’re going to satisfy with that?!?!” Can I not find a woman who has not been spoiled by these western dogs?
619 AD:
I met this uber hot six year old. Her name is Aisha. I bought her from her father for a goat. And a sickly one at that. I know she won’t be deflowered. I married her the next day.
620 AD:
My grooming of Aisha continues. She now knows that in return for favours she will need to please me. She’s almost ready.
621 AD:
Tonight was supposed to be the greatest night of my life. I was going to fuck a girl who would be impressed with my penis. Aisha was undressed, her smooth body ready for me and I undressed. Aisha started smiling. I was happy. She’s unspoiled and all mine.
“What are you smiling at, little Aisha?”
“Muhammad, I am smiling at your pee pee.”
"Aisha darling, you should use the proper term for this. It’s called a cock.”
“My husband, that’s a pee pee. A cock is twelve inches long and black.”
“DEATH TO ALL INFIDELS.”
The scroll ends there but it gives us clear evidence as to the origins of Islamic anger. On a side note, another piece of scroll was found in the same area and sheds light on another common Islamic practice. It read: “GOATS NEVER JUDGE.”
Why Radical Islam?
@causticbob has a wonderful habit of offending everyone.
Whether you're black, white, yellow or brown. Male, female, gay, left wing, right wing, racist or stupid; You're a target.....