Byron Burgers plead ignorance in hiring Mickey Mouse, Batman and Keyser Söze
Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to hope everything sorts itself out
Slaughter of first-borns could save £50bn in Child Benefit, pledges Theresa May
Theresa May calls for end to Modern Slavery in favour of more traditional slavery
Pokemon Go players devastated after realising it is the most pointless bullshit imaginable
To demonstrate Islam is the Religion
of Peace, two of its followers took the occupants of a church in Normandy hostage and then thought it would be a nice touch to cut off the head of a priest. In other news…