Can you imagine Trevor's surprise?
Only hours earlier, Trevor had settled down for his morning sleep in the stationery cupboard at work.
But now, as he stumbled from the cupboard and into the light, he knew the shape of the Earth (round) and how babies are made (sex). An angel had visited Trevor in the cupboard and given him this information from God, who was busy. Thanks to Trevor we now know God's preferred name is “Mr God”.
Trevor also learned the truth about Muhammad, who was formerly the most important, but now the second most important, man in world history. Before Trevor, Muhammad was believed to be a prophet of Islam. We learned that Muhammad had always actually been a junior prophet of “Trevorism” (which means peace).
Amazingly, some people in the office had ridiculed Trevor.
“You've just ripped off your story from Islam, but made yourself the boss”, they said.
Trevor said “How could I have made this up? This stuff is great.”
“Can you introduce us to this angel you've been talking to, in the stationery cupboard?”, they asked.
“Wise and superior are those who believe in the angel, and they will have an after-life sex party in space”, Trevor revealed “But those who do not believe are stupid weasels, and will have a terrible doom, perhaps involving death.”
At first Trevorism, mainly appealed to idiots and criminals, for some reason. Trevorists were frustrated by their lack of power and the ridicule they faced.
Then the terror attacks started.
These terror attacks were done by Trevorists, instructed by the Book of Trevor, but they had nothing to do with real Trevorism (which means peace). The attacks made people think that not only was Trevorism ridiculous, it was also a dangerous licence for supremacist demands, backed by Mr God-mandated violence. People started to perceive problems with bringing more Trevorism into their democracies.
This was the critical moment that Trevorism could have failed, but governments stepped in to make things right.
Governments introduced policies against offending or disliking Trevor, Trevorists, or Trevorism - “Trevorphobia”. It remained, of course, legal to promote and praise Trevorism, and indoctrinate children in the Book of Trevor.
Soon, promotion of Trevorism (legal) exceeded ridicule of Trevorism (illegal). This was surely the work of Mr God. The terror attacks didn't stop, but people came to see them more as “peace struggle attacks”, caused by infinite legitimate grievances.
But that was all back in the 21st Century.
Now, of course, it is 1,000 years since Trevor stepped out of the stationery cupboard. We now know Trevor was right. Admittedly, the information Mr God gave Trevor about how babies were made was a bit wrong in some details. But it was close. By Mr God it was close.
Now, the office workers, mockers, gays and atheists are dead, and the women are free or, as we used to say, enslaved. Free speech and other offensive practices will never return. We all happily choose to wear our Trevorism-mandated face-hats.
We have nothing but praise for Trevor and Trevorism, other options generally attracting the death penalty.
Looking back, how could we have hoped for more?
These terror attacks were done by Trevorists, instructed by the Book of Trevor, but they had nothing to do with real Trevorism (which means peace). The attacks made people think that not only was Trevorism ridiculous, it was also a dangerous licence for supremacist demands, backed by Mr God-mandated violence. People started to perceive problems with bringing more Trevorism into their democracies.
This was the critical moment that Trevorism could have failed, but governments stepped in to make things right.
Governments introduced policies against offending or disliking Trevor, Trevorists, or Trevorism - “Trevorphobia”. It remained, of course, legal to promote and praise Trevorism, and indoctrinate children in the Book of Trevor.
Soon, promotion of Trevorism (legal) exceeded ridicule of Trevorism (illegal). This was surely the work of Mr God. The terror attacks didn't stop, but people came to see them more as “peace struggle attacks”, caused by infinite legitimate grievances.
But that was all back in the 21st Century.
Now, of course, it is 1,000 years since Trevor stepped out of the stationery cupboard. We now know Trevor was right. Admittedly, the information Mr God gave Trevor about how babies were made was a bit wrong in some details. But it was close. By Mr God it was close.
Now, the office workers, mockers, gays and atheists are dead, and the women are free or, as we used to say, enslaved. Free speech and other offensive practices will never return. We all happily choose to wear our Trevorism-mandated face-hats.
We have nothing but praise for Trevor and Trevorism, other options generally attracting the death penalty.
Looking back, how could we have hoped for more?
How the Trevorists won
By Basima Faysal
Little is known of the magnificent and famous Basima Faysal