Vive Charlie Issue 2 - Page 5

In other news, Bob Smith, a gay retarded cretin and Sally Jones,

a half-caste spastic dyke of Diabetics Anonymous, are outraged that a movie

claims eating too much chocolate gives you diabetes.

With @AliBambii

Why is that

paedo giving

me his special

rapey look?

I managed to bag a whole page in the Sun newspaper this week to defend the right to be offensive on social media and have been overwhelmed with messages of support from ordinary citizens fed up with having to remain silent lest their use of words be deemed offensive by some particularly sensitive work colleague and they be hounded to an assisted suicide by the thought police.

The bottom line, of course, is that most people LOVE to be offended. It gives them the thrill of belonging to the

righteous mob, the chance to proclaim loudly that they

are better or more compassionate or have higher morals than you. It allows them to strut their faux outrage as a medal to be worn proudly on their chests (not on page 3, obviously) declaring themselves to be “superior citizens”. There are plenty of things I find offensive, dear readers, but they are and will remain MY problem, not other peoples.

So get out there and start offending people whilst it's still barely legal – you won't have to try very hard, I can assure you of that.