LORD COKEHEAD
An unelected member of the UK’s upper house has resigned after footage emerged of him taking cocaine. Lord ‘Coke-Fiend’ Sewel was seen snorting some white powder, wearing a bra, and generally having a whale of a time with two ladies of negotiable hospitality.
“It’s disgraceful behaviour, the whole system has been brought into disrepute. How can there possibly be any trust in us now? Before, people thought we were just in it for the money, but now our good name has been besmirched by someone with an ulterior motive”, complained Ms Luscious, official spokeswoman of the Prostitutes’ Union. “If you can’t trust your hookers not to sell you out to the tabloids, who can you trust?”
Lord Sewel did not make any comment,
because he was completely off his tits.