interactions and experience with the world . Look out for when White , Western , wealthy , heterosexual , patriarchal , ableist , settler-colonial norms are silencing you , and perhaps even more crucially , when they may be leading you to silence others . Fight back against the forces that threaten to silence you , and find allyship in those whose moral compass points towards inclusive , compassionate humanity and radical liberation from power asymmetry . Actively work to know your blind spots – places where your privilege and power may make you the oppressor rather than the oppressed – and act in solidarity with those in chains , so that we work together to all become free .
During your journey in this troubled world , find time to care for yourself . Find love , hope , peace , and support from others , and draw energy from engaging with your passions .
Especially as you grow older , you may choose to engage with your personal history as much or as little as you ’ d like . I believe there is spiritual richness in exploring your past . I will caution you that there will likely also be trauma . A good friend of mine , who is adopted himself , once told me that there is trauma in adoption . It struck me as a foreign concept at the time , but I am starting to realize how this is true . Maybe you can find some truth in it for yourself too . Don ’ t be afraid to seek help as needed to work through your history .
I recognize that our personal histories both converge and diverge , and the following may not happen to you , but I ’ d be remiss if I did not say : If our family members single you out for being ‘ special ’ as they did with me , take note that perhaps this behavior is an example of Saïd ’ s Orientalism , which , in my interpretation , addresses the exotification of Asian peoples and culture , seen as distinct from the “ more powerful ” West . But also take note that the attention you receive is also due to love . Our family is a loving one . We just sometimes don ’ t know how to express this love . Maybe together we can change the paradigm of our family ’ s love . Explore the tension between exotification and abundant family love as you see fit .
I am really excited for you and your parents throughout this amazing journey of familial development . I have confidence that they , along with your grandma , myself , and others , will love you to the moon and back .
In closing , I must say : You are powerful . You are strong and fierce and alive . Use this power , strength , and energy for good . Love yourself enough to be okay with failing , to be okay with making mistakes , and to be okay with not pleasing everyone , especially if doing so would mean losing yourself along the way . Engage in work that fuels your fire , nourishes your soul , challenges your mind , satisfies your body , and speaks to your heart . Be unapologetically you .
Forever and always , I am here for you as a friend , cousin , and fellow adoptee . Welcome to our family .
With lots of love , Meghan Chi Kelly
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