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Exploring Multi Identity
Meghan Kelly
The DiscoSwat brochure rests on the coffee table, accompanied by other college admissions materials and student diversity event listings. I sit a bit confused, wondering why I’m getting
so much material designed for students of color. I casually ask
my dad about it, and he says in his relaxed tone, “Oh, it must be
because you’re Asian.” To be clear, I did and do identify racially
as Asian. When the mail arrived full of information about diversity
events, though, it took me a second to associate my racial identification of Asian with my invitations to POC events. Even to this day,
I question to what extent I am a person of color.
I was adopted from China at four months old by two amazing parents whose love knows no bounds. I appreciate them every
day. It also just so happens that my parents are white. I was socialized in a white family, and I have benefitted from white privilege
in ways that I recognize and in ways that I am still learning. For a
while I thought of myself as “officially” Asian but somehow kind
of white. I continue to process why I felt this way, but I suspect it’s
due to a mixture of things, including the fact that I was raised in a
white suburb and had mostly white friends. The few Asian children
I knew were adopted by white families as well. Since coming to
college, I have felt conflicted at times about what my multi narrative—my Asian racial identity mixed with my white cultural background—means. I ask myself: Do I belong in POC spaces? How
do I interact in them? Can I find a comfortable place in the Asian
community even though I was not raised with Chinese cultures
and values?
I am grateful to have the space to consider these thoughts
in Multi, a campus group for students who identify as multi (multiethnic, multiracial, multicultural, transnational, transracial, multireligious, and more). I am happy that we have given ourselves the
time to explore and build together, in spite of the workload and
pressures of the institution.
Supported by my adoptive family and my close friends,
(re)claiming my multi identity has become a
source of personal empowerment.
I am not done exploring; perhaps I never will be. But I feel
fortunate to be able to continue doing so here and now.
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