The Sheep That Ate
My Homework
BY GUINNEVERE BECKELHYMER
“Maaaaah!”
I formed an automatic squint under the
wrath of the scorching California sun. How peculiar, my inner monologue mused on cue. Certainly the beach contains no legitimate sources of
bleating. My previous trance to the laptop screen
before me was broken, as my eager eyes now
hungered entertainment beyond normalcy. Following the scent of my curiosity, I directed my
bloodhound instincts to shred through the scenery
in search of amusement. I proceeded to pick apart
every individual fixture from the globs of goons
bustling about the shore, to the distant littering of
houses to the left of the private area.
My immediate hypothesis was that I
wouldn’t be able to locate any source for the abrupt interference. It was more likely that I had
lost my mind, for I had too much of it to keep
track of. Besides, the repulsive sand filled terrain
surrounding me was a private spot on the beach,
rented specifically for the bustling crew that were
currently ankle deep in the ocean. They were pathetic, every single one of them, especially the
14
plastic geezer in their center. All around him the
other less sculpted and more clothed orbited
about him. They treated him like their sun, manipulating the environment for his needs. Though
how they immortalized an expired god like him
was unfathomable. I took note of how the model
glittered with a false gold aura as he forced his
chiseled form in predictable poses. His thinning
hair dangled behind him, the caramel tint obviously dyed to cover up the grey. For a brief moment, he made it his priority to glance his steely
eyes in my direction, eyebrows furrowing in a
sculpted scowl. This gave me little interest
though, as I was currently trying to hold on to
what little sanity I had left. For as expected, nothing out of habitat could be spotted. That is, if you
didn’t include the abhorrent existence of the wannabe Fabio.
I gave a mechanical sigh, about to admit
defeat, when the heat generated from my laptop
started to descend further away from my torso.
Though my well-trained mind was advanced in
its observant methods, my body on the other
hand, reacted sluggishly in its mission to retrieve