Don’t
Look
Back
G
un shots all around me, the ringing in my
ears a constant reminder of the battle that
rages around me, and reminding me why I
have to run. Running is the only thing that occupies my
mind, pushing my body to its limits to reach that unknown haven that I seek, where I can finally be safe. The
reasons for running sometimes escape my mind but reminders always find me; a gun shot, a daisy that my sister
was named for, a plane, that screams across the sky, filled
with people who seek to hurt me. The distant screams of
people that feel fire lace their skin, the pain I hope I never
have to endure, but envying them is my weakness, the
relief of death is something that has always eluded me.
Dying is endless sleep and is something that I have craved
since the day I started my never ending pace, the marathon I will never finish, I crave that relief and the desire
strengthens with every step. More screams cause me to
flinch; they are everywhere, all around me, resonating
through my body like an earthquake. They desire death
just as I do, wanting it to relieve them from this pain and
their families will always for them, only to be disappointed.
My steps falter and my feet stumble as my mind
drifts away to the memory of my family. My mother’s loving gaze, my father’s strong heart, my brother’s hard, determined gaze and my sister’s innocent beauty. My sister,
Daisy, she used to sit on my floor and play with dolls that I
used to adore and dress for hours. She would always look
at me with a longing gaze, silently begging me to join her
in her games but I could never be the big sister she wanted after our family was torn. I had to be strong for her but
BY MEAGAN WILSON
couldn’t be the kind of sister that was loving and doting. I
cannot help but turn away from her gaze and shift my
eyes to the desk that sat in my room where I would sit for
hours, thinking. Laying my head on the desk, tracing my
fingernail along the grain and shutting out the world
helped me keep my sanity. Daisy would get up and walk
out my door, closing it softly behind her. I know I always
disappointed her and let her down, my eyes are drawn to
the doll she left sitting on my floor. The doll seems abandoned without my sister to hold it; I cover my face with
my hands and sigh as a tear quietly rolls down my cheek.
Another scream pulls be back into reality but all I
so desperately want is to escape reality. Pushing the
thoughts of my mind violently from my head, distractions
are something that cannot be afforded right now.
A plane streaks across the sky in a dark grey flash,
the only warning I receive before it hits. Then it does, the
blast knocks me from my feet and sends my body flying.
The ground offers no cushion as my body crashes roughly
into it. The air is ripped from my lungs and my whole
body hurts, there is no pinpoint to the pain, its everywhere. My eyes open slowly, blinking rapidly as I try to
dislodge dirt and dust from them. The fresh layer of
smoke and ash has created a blanket of desolation in the
city; the sun isn’t even visible to light a path through the
dense fog.
The ground rumbles beneath my groping hands as
more bombs blast holes among the city. With every blast,
I remember the people who drop them, the Varii. A blast,
gun shots, and screams are their battle cry. The Varii, are
just a bunch of cowards, they don’t even bother to look
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