Instruction
The Second Arrow
Lower your stress, lower your score
by MICHAEL MABRY, Co-Founder of One Play Development, performance academy for athletes based in Reston with eight locations
THERE’ S AN OLD STORY from the Buddhist tradition that every golfer should know— not because it will change your swing path or improve your putting stroke, but because it might just lower your scores and your suffering.
THE PARABLE OF THE TWO ARROWS A man once went for a walk in the forest near his village. Deep among the trees ran a small, winding creek that he loved to visit. There was only one problem: that section of forest was reserved for hunters. He knew the rule but decided to go anyway— just for a few quiet minutes by the water.
As he wandered, lost in thought, an arrow struck him in the arm. The pain was instant and sharp. He turned to see a figure running away through the trees. Shock and adrenaline gave way to anger, frustration and panic.
“ How could I be so stupid to come here?” he yelled to no one.“ Who would hit someone and run away? What if it gets infected?
What if I lose the use of my arm? Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?”
His thoughts spiraled. By the time he reached the village and found the healer, he had already constructed a full story of blame, fear, and judgement.
The medicine woman cleaned the wound, removed the arrow, and stitched him up with calm precision. When she finished, she said softly,“ The first arrow is out. You’ ll feel much better once you take out the second one.”
“ The second arrow?” the man asked, confused.
“ Yes,” she said.“ The first arrow was the pain. The second arrow is your suffering— the one you’ ve been shooting into yourself ever since it happened. The first was unavoidable. The second is self-inflicted.”
She smiled.“ When you’ re ready, pull that one out, too.”
THE GOLFER’ S SECOND ARROW Every golfer knows the feeling of the first arrow. It’ s the chunked wedge. The three-putt. The tee shot that somehow finds its way into the tiny fairway bunker.
That brief sting— the ouch of the game— is unavoidable. Golf, after all, is a game of imperfection played on uneven ground.
But the second arrow? That one is self-inflicted.
It’ s the voice of judgement, the rumination, the catastrophizing. As The Eagles sang,“ So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”
On the course, that key is awareness— the ability to notice when the second arrow is still sticking in your arm.
PAIN IS INEVITABLE, SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL The degree to which you suffer is directly related to the degree to which you resist what’ s happening.
You’ ll catch bad breaks— a gust of wind, a fried egg in the bunker, a perfect drive that ends up in a divot, a duck hook, a hosel rocket. But when you tighten your grip on the injustice, when you replay it, curse it, or judge yourself, you amplify the wound. You keep the second arrow lodged in deep.
34 V IRGINIA G OLFER | J ANUARY / F EBRUARY 2026 vsga. org