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ITS OK
AY TO
LAUGH
ITS JU
ST JOK
ES
True Love
A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To
celebrate, the woman decided she would
cook a big dinner for her husband. Then
he said they should do what they did on
their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. On
their anniversary night at the table, the
woman says, “Honey my nipples are as
hot for you as they were 50 years ago.”
the man replies, “Heather, hon, that’s
because they are sitting in your soup.”
A man and a woman were having sex in the middle
of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of foreplay,
the man got up and said, “Damn, I wish I had a
flashlight!” The woman agreed, “Me too! You’ve
beating eating grass for the past ten minutes!
~
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in
the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to
get back in his hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can
put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather
replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too
wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole.” The
little boy runs into the house and comes back out
with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it
is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds
to slip the dying worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair
spray and runs into the house. Thirty minute later
the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy
another five dollars. The little boy says, “Grandpa,
you already gave me five dollars.” The grandfather
replies, “I know, that’s from grandma.”
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The Scandalous Sailor
A depressed young woman was so desperate that she
decided to end her life throwing herself into and drowning
in the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a
handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her
and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to
Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away
on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food
every day.” Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her
waist and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me
happy.” The girl nodded yes, after all, what did she have to
lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her
in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three
sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate
love until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine search,
she was discovered by the captain. “What are you doing
hiding in this lifeboat?” the captain asked. She got up and
explained, “I have an arrangement with one of the sailors.
He’s taking me to Europe, and he’s screwing me.” The
captain looked at her and said, “He sure is lady. This is the
Staten Island Ferry!”