ACTIVE GRIEF

The Department of Veterans Affairs says that there are four tasks of grief that help someone become an active participant in their grieving process.

Accepting the reality of your loss means to break through the denial to understand that a death has occurred and is permanent. Next, move on to mourning that death. Distracting yourself from the pain may make you feel better, but eventually it will return unless you can heal. It will take time, but work on adjusting to the reality in which your loved one is missing. Reach out for support when you need it and be patient with yourself as you form a new identity that is not intertwined with your loved one.

GETTING SUPPORT

There are many support groups available for those mourning military losses.

There are bereavement camps for adults and children alike, online support tools such as webinars and other educational materials, and the military community around you may also offer counseling and other services. Building a network of solid support will be critical to your healing process.

WAYS TO HONOR THEIR MEMORY How you choose to meaningfully honor your loved one’ s memory depends on you, your grief and your support network. Here are some other stories of honoring loss that may help.

At Fort Drum, a Gold Star

family helps create special Christmas trees around the post decorated with ornaments featuring a fallen soldier from the fort’ s 10th Mountain Division.“ It brings a sense of closure,” Ashleigh Carlin, whose brother, Michael, was killed by an IED in 2007 told Spectrum News 1.

© ADOBE STOCK

“ It’ s a part of the healing process. It’ s a part of the grief process. It helps your soul, really.

At home, consider adding ornaments with your lost loved one to the tree, if you’ re ready. Or consider helping out with a similar activity as Carlin’ s. You may be surprised at how healing it can be.