Vermont Magazine | Page 45

Sherman: And you raised three boys here. How old are they now? Fosse: My kids are 20, 23 and 27. Sherman: You had a very complicated childhood and early adulthood. How did you protect your kids from the world you grew up in, but also invite them into the world you grew up in - in terms of the good parts? Fosse: When Andy and I decided to move to Vermont with our son (who was then two and a half years old), it wasn’t a con- scious decision of “We have to leave this madness!” But I had the madness of grow- ing up in the chaos. “The beautiful chaos,” as I like to call it, of growing up in the entertainment industry. And my husband - when he was working at Lincoln Center - said to me, “Let’s get out of here.” And that rang true to me. He put those words on it and identified it, but there was something that rang true at my core, too. I was like, “Okay, yeah, let’s get out of here.” And so I think that was how, you know, we protect- ed the kids. We just moved here and did Vermont things. And then I showed them the wonderful, beautiful fun parts. They had music lessons. We were always very involved in big school musicals at the local elementary school. My kids grew up tap dancing and playing the drums and the piano and various instruments. We read lots of really great literature out loud. They were always painting and drawing, and we would go visit my mom. Sherman: I know you suffered tragedy as an adult, as well. Can you tell me about that? Fosse: My husband was killed by a drunk driver. And then my mother moved in to help me raise the children. And eight weeks later, my kids found her dead in bed. My kids were one, four and eight at the time. I don’t know that anybody has the tools to deal with that. I don’t know how else to say it, but I had not developed the tools to handle that kind of tragedy and trauma. I was new to the town. I didn’t have any family here. I hardly had any friends. We had just moved into this house, like, a year before. And so what I was acquainted with was numbing out. I wasn’t used to asking for help. Sherman: So how did you find your way after going through that? Your story is quite profound: You went through this horrible trauma of your husband being killed by a drunk driver and you had three young kids. Your mother came to Vermont to help you - and instead, eight weeks later, your kids found her dead in bed. I mean, that’s almost a Bob Fosse joke, right? It’s almost a situation he would think of as humorous. It’s like the zip up bag at the end of All That Jazz, right? So, I guess my question is - Fosse: (laughing) Your question is, “Did you put on Ethel Merman singing, ‘There’s No Business Like Show Business’ as they carted your mother’s body out of the house?” No. No, I did not. Sherman: I know yoga has played a big party in your recovery. Can you tell me about that? Fosse: There are different ways to fill [a] void. Service to others. Creative endeavors. I’m a bikram yoga teacher now. And, for me, being of service in this specific yoga practice is moving. It changes your brain. I think I’ve been doing it regularly enough and long enough that I’ve completely settled down my nervous system and can breathe through uncomfortable situations. And I can talk about death and tragedy Damn Yankees as captured by the legendary Al Hirschfeld © The Al Hirschfeld Foundation. www.AlHirschfeldFoundation.org VTMAG.COM HOLIDAY 2019 43