|
aged her stress with alcohol and marijuana use , but the drinking soon became problematic . Alyssa was able to justify her partying by telling herself that she was getting A ’ s in school , the kids were healthy , and the bills were paid , so the drinking can ’ t be that bad . Even if she stayed out until 4 or 5 in the morning , she still made it to work at 8AM . “ I never hit the ‘ rock bottom ’ you always hear about – where DCF drags your kids away or you wind up homeless .” But then she started drinking on her lunch break and putting vodka in her morning coffee . She asked for a referral for a therapist from her primary care provider , but nobody called her .
One day , she was doing a political fundraiser . Her children were with a babysitter ( as they always were when she was out drinking ). She thought that since the kids were gone for the night , she would let loose even more than usual . She got incredibly drunk . Then her babysitter called with an emergency and needed Alyssa to come get her kids . She drove under the influence to get her children , then drove them the few blocks home . All she could think was , “ What if I died ? What if I had killed my kids ?” She decided to accompany a friend to an AA meeting , where a light switch went off . She has been clean and sober since July 8 , 2012 .
Alyssa founded an AA chapter when she started at Vermont Law School because she had success with the program back home . She acknowledges a program like AA is difficult in Vermont because it is such a small community . You run the risk of seeing your own clients or opposing counsel at meetings , which can be awkward . In her home state , there was a “ Professionals Only AA ” that was just for doctors and lawyers to help cut down on these encounters . She acknowledges Vermont may not have the ability to have such meetings here due to geographic concerns and a lower population , but it ’ s another possible solution to getting attorneys help with alcohol abuse issues .
Kayleigh
Kayleigh is a new attorney who graduated from VLS a few years back and now practices in a larger Vermont law firm . She always believed anxiety and depression were interwoven , and she has struggled with both . “ There are higher expectations for women ,” she believes . “ We have all of the same stressors as men , but we are scrutinized more than our male counterparts .” Kayleigh used anti-depressants to help with her anxiety and depression , but found the pills messed with her body and decided to use other methods to treat her mental health , such as meditation . “ Part of it is being able to choose to be happy and how you respond to a situation . You need to recognize what does and does not work for you .” Kayleigh is lucky enough to be at a firm that allows her to do transactional work , which she en-
|
joys more . “ I found the litigation was driving me to drink and shut down . I was burning out fast . My firm gave me the option of choosing my career path , so I switched to transactional work .” Her law gave her a path to a better quality of life where she did not need alcohol to cope with the day-today grind .
Annie
Annie has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder . She experienced sexual abuse as a young child , which lead to several diagnoses before her current one . She says that she believes part of her diagnosis causes her to crave chaos and self-harming behaviors . Self-harming behaviors can be more than just behaviors like cutting . The entire idea of going through law school seems selfharming . So is drinking excessively . For Annie , it took the form of an affair while in law school . But her desire for unbalance and chaos lead to her becoming a lawyer . “ I tried to have a different career . I ’ m an arguer , an overachiever , and I ’ m adversarial .” Being an attorney has afforded her an opportunity to argue , excel , and oppose at every corner , which actually works with her bipolar disorder .
|
When asked what the legal community could do to address issues of substance abuse and mental health issues , Nathan ’ s response was : “ you can always do more , but it needs to be effective .” His local Bar Association and Supreme Court has an open dialogue about substance abuse and mental health issues . They offer a program that allows an attorney to keep his or her license if that attorney follows certain protocol for reporting the substance abuse problem or a mental health issue .
Kayleigh has seen a number of different counselors , and she saw one throughout law school . She reports not needing a counselor since she received her law license . She said that if she did seek help , she would not do group counseling or go through a lawyerspecific program , but would instead seek help from a private or solo psychiatrist .
|
Nathan thinks that prevention starts with the individual law firms and the environment the senior partners create there . He has an employer who seems to care a lot about him and his personal feelings . “ The leadership of those who hire and fire and those who have contact with young attorneys should be charged with creating a healthy community . If you have leadership that deals with stress by drinking or taking pills , the younger attorneys will too .” His employer even offers mental health treatment as party of his employee benefit package .
Kayleigh agrees with the sentiment that it runs deeper than a treatment program , and likens counseling to “ putting a Band Aid on a wound .” “ The private practice model needs to adjust to the modern era , including the billable hour model .” She does not know what the solution is , but says the current model does not give new attorneys a chance to balance work and qualify of life . The model is a huge demand on people ’ s times .
Overall , my colleagues and I share the same sentiment : we need to remove the stigma surrounding anxiety and other mental health issues . “ They ’ re invisible diseases that do not get the same attention as cancer or diabetes ,” says Alyssa . “ When you can ’ t show your symptoms on the outside , and when people aren ’ t open to discussing it , you cannot get the help you need .” So while I miss Cheryl Hanna terribly and think of all of the students who will miss her spirit and wisdom , I thank her for sparking a dialogue about this silent killer , depression . I hope that we can open up with one another about our struggles in order to create solutions for the Vermont bar and the legal community as a whole . ____________________
1 http :// journals . lww . com / journaladdictionmedicine / Fulltext / 2016 / 02000 / The _ Prevalence _ of _ Substance _ Use _ and _ Other _ Mental . 8 . aspx
2
All names have been changed . My colleagues were open and honest about their struggles with substance use and depression . Some adamantly wished to remain anonymous while others did not have a preference . It was my decision to change all names in order to protect their candor .
|
The ( Drunk ) Elephant in the Room |