Vermont Bar Journal, Vol. 40, No. 2 Spring 2016, Volume 42, No. 1 | Page 37

BOOK REVIEW

Comebacks for Lawyer Jokes:
The Restatement of Retorts

by Malcolm Kushner
Museum of Humor.com Press, 2015, ISBN
978079838323, $9.95 (paperback)
Reviewed by Anna Vaserstein, Esq.
Lawyer jokes are no laughing matter, according to author Malcolm Kushner, when
they attack the legal profession. Comebacks for Lawyer Jokes: The Restatement of
Retorts is an attorney humor compendium
comprised of three sections. The first part
of this tiny tome (a mere 5” x 7”) is filled
with comebacks to common lawyer jokes.
The second part contains jokes about other
professions that the beleaguered attorney
can use to go on the offensive. The third
part presents lawyer jokes in which the legal profession is positively portrayed.
Comebacks’ first part offers the attorney
who is about to become the butt of a lawyer joke a retort to beat the joke-teller to
the punch. Here, the reader will find comebacks to a number of well-known jokes. A
sample:
Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Because they need them to negotiate
contracts for the Discovery Channel’s Shark
Week. (p. 28)
This reply is to be offered by the attorney before the “jokester” can say “professional courtesy.” The joke connoisseur will
enjoy reading these jokes with the new retorts written by the author alongside the
“traditional” responses. Kushner’s intent
is for the attorney to memorize his comebacks in order to be “prepared.”
The second part contains jokes targeted at other professionals that an attorney
can use to retaliate against the lawyer jokemaker. This section, entitled “Offense,”
aims to show that “other” professions, specifically that of the lawyer joke-teller (CPAs
and doctors are predominantly featured although other professions could be easily
substituted) are just as “bad” as attorneys.
Among the well-worn jokes in this section,
www.vtbar.org

the reader may be entertained by a few s/
he hasn’t heard.
The final part of Comebacks is both the
most interesting and the briefest. Here, the
jokes positively portray the practice of law.
Unlike the jokes in the previous two sections, the reader has probably never encountered this novel variety before. Here
is a sample:
Q: How many lawyers does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: None, if the lawyers are Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela.
Then the light comes from within. (p. 178)
Does the world need another lawyer joke
book, albeit one that fills a unique niche?
As far as general joke books go this isn’t the
best I’ve seen. It pales in comparison to the
more thoughtful Plato and Platypus Walk
into a Bar by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel
Klein (2007). Due to its small size and large
print format, Comebacks contains fewer
jokes than one might find in other lawyer
joke books. The book’s appearance is aesthetically lacking due to its shiny paperback binding and budget graphic layout
and design. Given that many purchasers of
this book will be buying it as a gift, it is a
shame that the publisher did not make an
effort to make