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Have you been betrayed by someone you trusted ? by MARK WEBB
Mark Webb is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta . He is the author of “ How To Be A Great Partner ” and “ How To Argueproof Your Relationship .” Read more of his articles at www . TheRelationshipSpecialist . com .
“ Betrayal is a deep knife wound that only heals with time , forgiveness , and a willingness to rebuild trust .” ~ Unknown
Have you ever been betrayed by a friend or family member ? Was the betrayal by a coworker , supervisor or someone in a position of authority who should be trustworthy like a church leader ? Regardless of whom it was , betrayal can be life changing and if you ’ re not careful , it can create a major setback in your health and wellness .
Here are some questions you should examine if you are trying to decide what you should do with this breach of trust :
1How much does your history together matter ? Have you had a longstanding friendship with this person ? Have they been a good friend or close family member ? Is this the first time they have been disloyal or the tenth ?
2Have you both changed or grown apart ? Have you outgrown this person ? Were they friends in childhood or adolescence but as adults the values and life goals are much different now ?
3Is the person talking responsibility for their actions ? Do they even admit or acknowledge that they have done something wrong or hurtful ? Do they always seem to have a person to blame or a “ good reason ” why the betrayal occurred ?
4Are they sincere and apologetic for their betrayal ? Do they have a flippant attitude as if you are making a big deal out of nothing or can you tell they are truly sorry for what they have done ?
5Are they trying to make amends ? They may express a willingness to make things right but talk is cheap . Offenders often say they ’ ll do anything but in reality , are they really making a sincere effort ?
6Is this relationship beyond repair ? Is their betrayal considered a deal breaker ? Are they likely to do the same thing again ? Even if you forgive them , will you ever trust them again ?
7Would therapy be a good option ? Or have you considered talking with a church leader ? Would seeking an outside
36 Valdosta Scene | October 2024