column
Do you have any of these worries or anxieties about your relationship ?
by MARK WEBB
Mark Webb is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice at Oakwood Counseling Center in Valdosta . He is the author of “ How To Be A Great Partner ” and “ How To Argueproof Your Relationship .” Read more of his articles at www . TheRelationshipSpecialist . com .
“ Be with someone who brings out the best in you , not the worst in you .” ~ Mark Webb , The Relationship Specialist
Some of the things you worry about can be based on past experiences in previous relationships . Some of these worries are based on negative thought processes that you have developed throughout the span of your life . The things you worry about could actually be happening . It ’ s hard to make sense of these sometimes . How many of these worries listed below can you relate to ?
Wondering If You Matter To Your Partner . What an awful feeling to have to wonder if you matter to your partner . We all have a fundamental need to feel secure within our relationship . Does it feel like your partner wouldn ’ t miss you very much if you were not around ? How can you feel connected or that you can relax in a relationship like this ?
“ A healthy relationship doesn ’ t drag you down . It inspires you to be better .” ~ unknown
Doubting Your Partner ’ s Feelings For You . Do you ever have a nagging feeling of doubt that your partner doesn ’ t really love you ? Is it because they do not show physical affection ? Perhaps they don ’ t text you or call you during the course of a day . Everyone knows it only takes seconds to do so . Have their feelings seemed to have changed or that they seem more emotionally distant ? Work or other types of stress can affect this but what if this has become a pattern ?
“ Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow . It empties today of its strength .” ~ Corrie Ten Boom
Are You Afraid Your Partner Wants To End Things ? Do you struggle with persistent fears that your partner wants to leave you or divorce you ? Sometimes these fears are warranted and sometimes these fears are distorted fears based on past experiences . Are you afraid of bringing up certain issues that could start a conflict or a conversation that could lead to the topic of ending things ? Have you learned to tolerate hurtful or annoying behaviors for fear that the subject of ending things will come up ?
Doubting Whether The Two Of You Have What It Takes To Last Long Term . This fear is aggravating in the sense that you can pick apart the dynamics of your relationship with all kinds of skeptical questions . Are you focused on the differences between you ? It is hard to have absolute certainty within relationships so be careful not to be too analytical with yours .
Do You Notice That You Or Your Partner Are Sabotaging The Relationship ? Are you setting yourself or your partner up to engage in negative behaviors as if to prove you are unlovable or to prove you are unworthy of a loving relationship ? This can be seen in behaviors like picking arguments , pushing them away or testing their limits in countless others ways .
“ Why worry ? If you ’ ve done the very best you can , worrying won ’ t make it any better .” ~ Walt Disney
48 Valdosta Scene | August 2022