Vagabonds: Anthology of the Mad Ones Vagabonds Vol. 3 | Page 47

“Why are you running away?”
Vin offers a can of soda from a barrel of ice, and I take it, as he asks, “Where are
you going?”
“I don't know. Just away . . . Can I work in the carnival?”
They laugh. Vin says, “Afraid not. They're only hiring thugs like us.”
Jack nods. “How old are you?”
“Old enough.”
They look at each other with their eyebrows raised.
Jack says, “Listen, you can't run away. You'll get in trouble.”
Vin agrees. “There's some jerks out there. Just hang on and wait 'til you're older.”
“But you don't know what it's like. . . . My mother is driving me crazy.”
It sounds lame, but how can I explain? She's always hovering over me. She has no
life of her own and her compulsive anxiety drowns everything.
Vin asks, “What about your father?”
I think of when my father said he'd teach me to dance. I was surprised he noticed I
was still alive.
I'd been trying to teach myself. When I came home from school; I didn't change
right away into jeans.
I put my record player in the living room and lost track of the time.
He came home and caught me dancing backwards with an imaginary partner.
I thought he would laugh and put me down, like he always did, if he noticed me at
all, but he surprised me. He said he'd teach me; he used to win prizes for dancing.
He took me into his arms. The song was Put Your Head on My Shoulder. I never
thought he could be so smooth. We floated and I let the music lift me away. I
remembered the father I used to love when I was seven and wrote his initials everywhere.
Suddenly, his hands were on my breasts. I tried to push them away, but he was too
strong.
We struggled and fell onto the floor.
He fell on top of me, he was heavy, and trying to push his finger up through my
cotton underpants. I was pinned beneath him. I was scared, but he couldn't see me, his
eyes were wide staring crazy, and I screamed.
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