Utterly True
Horoscope
Fortunes
for the Everyday
Rennie Skeptic
by Madame Truno
Aquarius You think you know it all, and
most often, can prove you actually do.
Pisces You make the perfect private
investigator because you find everything
fishy.
Aries You tend to be the garbage disposal
of your family 'cus you love eating
everything!
Taurus Follow your true self, even at the
inconvenience of others.
Gemini You can often find the holes in
your tent, and at the same time can't.
Cancer If you don't get your moring
coffee, oh everyone better watch out for
your crabby self!
Leo You can communicate with cats,
whispering sweet nothings in their ears, but
the only response you will get is, “I'm
hungry.”
Virgo Everyone thinks you're innocent,
but when you are alone, you get freaky!
Libra You have a had time deciding
between the pink camo and barbwire duct
tape.
The Latest Scourge in
the Tide Pod Epidemic
by the Under World News Network
Thanks
to
the
latest law passed
by
Congress,
possession of Tide
Pods is now a 3rd
degree felony, but
this will not stop
those with the
connections to get
them illegally. Illicit
Tide Pod sales are
the latest scourge in the worldwide trend
known as "Tide Podding". Many lives have
been washed away and many hearts
broken. Since the February 1st prohibition
and removal of Tide Pods from store
shelves, criminal organizations have began
to smuggle Tide Pods into the United
States border with the final destination
being the street corner of every town and
city. In today's modern world, where we
disregard the law, anz our lives and take
the Tide Pod challenge, it paints a grim
picture of reality.