unwind.pdf Apr. 2014 | Page 3

UNWIND DIES IN SUREGERY - QUESTIONS ARISE ABOUT PROCESS

ARTICLE BY: BREE TESTRON

Last week at Sunny Days Harvest Camp, an unwind died in the chop shop. The information was leaked out at a bar, as one of the surgeons was bragging about the experience while under the influence. This mistake has brought some questions about the process to light. The following survey includes some of these questions, answered by the government official of unwinds, Jennifer Lee.

Q: Is this the first incident of an unwind dying at a Harvest Camp?

A: No unwind has ever died on a table before, let alone at a Harvest Camp! The unwind did not react well to the synthetic blood put in the unwind after removing the blood. It appears the unwind suffocated before the process of unwinding could finish. About 1 in a million people would react to the synthetic blood in this way.

Q: How long is the typical unwinding surgery?

A: Typically three hours long, though it can take up to half an hour longer depending on the unwind.

Q: How long was this unwind in surgery for?

A: It is unknown at the time, but appears to have been in surgery for at least three hours and thirty five minutes.

Q: Could the length of the surgery affect the unwinds accidental death?

A: Not at all! The surgery is 100% safe. It is our number one priority to make sure the unwinds are comfortable until their soul is released.

Jennifer Lee refused anymore questions and left the scene without comments. Was Jennifer Lee telling the whole truth, or was she leaving some important details out? Another survey is to appear in next week’s issue of Unwind Illustrated!