Myth
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Myth
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To forgive is to excuse or ignore the offender’s actions
If you could excuse the behavior of the person who hurt you, forgiveness would not be necessary. In fact, what the person who hurt you did is inexcusable. You aren’t excusing them for what they did, you are forgiving them. Forgiving them allows you to let go of the bitterness while remembering very clearly your rights to healthy boundaries.
To forgive is to forget.
Forgiving others does not eliminate the memory of their violating you. It is because we remember, that we need to forgive. It’s not as though when you forgive someone, some kind of magical amnesia comes over you and you forget the horrible hurt that was caused. When you forgive someone you’re saying that the memory will no longer fill you with bitterness and hate.
Sara learned: Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to be around someone who has abused you.