Why
forgive?
When someone has deeply hurt you, it feels like they owe you a debt. They have taken something from you, be that your sense of safety, security, love... even your sense of happiness and wholeness. It makes perfect sense that you might want them to give that back to you or, maybe, you want to take something from them.
Forgiveness is letting go of the expectation that the other person will ever be able to undo what's been done. It allows you the freedom to finally get out from under the pain this hurt has caused you. It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to get out from under the hold this hurt has on you.
Forgiveness can be freeing to the person who hurt, too. Too often, however, they'll never seek your forgiveness, or it would be inappropriate for you to communicate with them ever again. If they do seek your forgiveness, it is up to you whether you want to let them know what you've decided, and it's important to remember that forgiveness doesn't mean they won't face consequences. It can, however, relieve the emotional burden of the past for both of you, if you choose.