Make the choice to have compassion on your violator.
5
Make the decision to surrender.
4
Let go of your deep desire to get back what you lost from the person who has violated you. Come up with a prayer or affirmation acknowledging your decision.
Here’s an example: "By an act of my will, and God’s power, I release the hold (insert name) still has on me. I make a commitment that when that hold threatens to grip me again, I will let it go. I won’t babysit these feelings. I admit the feelings are real and valid, but I choose not to be controlled by them any longer."
Look at them first, as a tragedy. Realize that some people will never change, even after you offer forgiveness. They will remain obnoxious, mean-spirited, uncaring, or unreliable. For your own sake, forgive so
that you can change the way
you respond to them, and quit
expecting them to be different.
Maybe you can even pray for
them or someday reach a point
where you can wish them well
from afar.