Honesty and communication are key to any healthy relationship. If something is bothering you, talk about it face-to-face in a honest, mature manner without attacking your partner.
Forgive* the person who cheated. Forgiveness DOES NOT mean that what they did was okay or excuse their behavior, but it does allow you to let go of the bitterness. It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not. It also clears the path for new trust to be built, now that the past betrayal has been acknowledged and processed.
*For more on how to forgive, check out our eBook: Understanding Forgiveness.
Don’t hold the past over their head. If you choose to continue with the relationship, it’s essential that you forgive and move past the cheating. Don’t bring it up during fights or make comments about it when you’re angry. You don't have to pretend it never happened, but don't use it as ammunition against your partner.
Fight fair. Disagreements are part of every relationship, but be mindful and thoughtful of what you are saying, even in the middle of an argument. Instead of attacking them, use language such as “I feel like…” and avoiding “You always…” or “You never...” statements.
Create boundaries. Although your partner cheated, that does not mean you can be abusive, controlling, or take away their privacy. If you feel the need to constantly check their phone/email/social messages, that may indicate you don’t really trust them.
Keep an eye out for behavioral patterns. If cheating, lying, or being secretive becomes a pattern of behavior with no change, it may be time to seriously evaluate the relationship and your future with this person who doesn't seem capable of being someone you can trust.