Supporting someone you know who is experiencing depression
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If a friend, family member or partner is affected by depression it is natural for you to feel an array of emotions. These may include sadness, confusion, guilt, anxiety or maybe even anger. These feelings are normal and are rooted in your care and concern for that person. It can be difficult to confront a loved one about their feelings of depression. You may feel awkward approaching someone, thinking it may embarrass or offend them. However most often this person may want to share their feelings and may be waiting for you to ask them how they are coping.
The first discussion you have with someone about their depression can define the next steps they take to dealing with their depression. People experiencing depression can often be sensitive to other people’s comments and reactions, therefore it is important to try and make the initial conversation a positive experience.
There are some things to keep in mind when approaching someone who is experiencing depression, including:
Choosing a comfortable environment: It is important to approach the topic of depression in a safe place with no distractions. Ensure you have enough time to spend with the person and do not rush the conversation.
Listening: Let the other person do most of the talking and sometimes try using non-verbal communication (e.g. nodding) to show that you
Considering what they are saying: Do not to judge or challenge what the person is saying. Also try not to convey pity to them, rather empathise with how they may be feeling.
Asking about suicidal thoughts: Ask the person directly if they are having suicidal thoughts. If they are it is important to take this seriously. Encourage the person to seek help. If they decline, you could offer to accompany them to the GP, or in extreme situations even attend on their behalf, with their consent.
Exploring any other risky behaviour: Often other difficulties can arise as a result of depression, such as substance abuse, engaging in risky behaviour or self-harming. It is important to encourage the person to also seek help for these issues.
Letting them know your concerns: Do not ignore or belittle what the person is telling you. Let them know you are concerned and that you want to support them, especially if the person may be experiencing suicidal ideation.
Offering them help: Ask them what they would like from you. Considering the limits of your relationship decide how you can help them, for example: if you are a friend you could call them more often or if you are their co-worker you could try to relieve them of some job pressures, etc.
Looking after yourself: Worry and concern can be consuming and you may feel under constant pressure when you are caring for someone experiencing depression. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help and support. Adequate rest, exercise and a good diet are important for you to maintain your health during this time.