No . 136 The Trusty Servant
Valete
Tim Hands ( HM , 16-23 )
Taken from a speech given by Andy Sparkes ( Co Ro , 15- ) at the dons ’ farewell party :
Tim has sadly been robbed of what should have been the crowning glory of his tenure - the ceremonial , inaugural , headmagisterial dive into the “ state of the art ” swimming pool at the new PE centre . That honour will have to pass to his successor . Or perhaps her successor .
But whilst we await the exciting discovery of Stonehenge 2 under the main sports hall , it is worth reflecting on the extraordinarily challenging times through which Tim has led us . They have not been Britain ’ s finest years , blighted by events , but also such luminaries as David Cameron , Kwasi Kwarteng , Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson messing about at the national tiller . Collective noun - a plague of Etonians .
The dominant event of Tim ’ s tenure of course was COVID . And for WinColl to have come through that not only intact , but in shape to pass an inspection with flying colours , is a tribute to everyone in this garden , but especially to the Headmaster who led us through it . Tim as we all know has had a distinguished career- one of the most glittering in private sector secondary education . Before coming to us , as head he enhanced the reputations of Portsmouth Grammar School and Magdalen College School Oxford . He led the Headmasters ’ Conference . At WinColl he had significant achievements ranging from realigning the school with the city to promoting the success of Lord ’ s . But his place in WinColl history will be as the HM who kept the show on the road during the pandemic .
Personally in that context I honour him for one decision , which is not without a certain irony . In the couple of years before the pandemic struck I and others were badgering Tim to do something about an IT infrastructure which was constantly going wrong , and obliging us to have a second back-up lesson plan for every hour , in case it did . Tim went to the Governing Body and pleaded for the outlay of serious cash . Had he not done so , and had they not responded , we wouldn ’ t have been up and running with Surfaces and Teams , and the online provision which kept us in business over COVID would have been impossible . I mentioned a certain irony . I am perhaps the one person who can get away with saying this , as the undisputed backmarker in IT competence in the entire school . At times , however , Tim has run me close . One of the little divertissements which titillate a jaded don during an online meeting is to watch Tim opening with a joke and try to guess what he is saying , before John Cullerne interjects with : “ You ’ re on mute , Tim .”
Whilst we ’ re on the subject - Tim and jokes . A headmaster of WinColl has to make an extraordinary number of speeches , many off the cuff , to a very diverse range of audiences from JP to parents , from the HMC to Common Room , to OWs at home and abroad , to a whole school gathering , to church congregations . 8 out 10 of Tim ’ s speeches are very good . Which let ’ s be clear is a very high strike rate . The other 2 are best described as runic . And in perhaps one out of 20 he is in sole occupation of Planet
Tim . I can tell those ones by watching Jane . When she gently rolls her eyes to the heavens …..
It does , I think , help if one has also read English literature , as sometimes when Tim is being abstruse there is a key there . He is of course not just a manager and a teacher – a notably good one from the account of pupils - but at heart a scholar , expert inter alia on Victorian public schools and Thomas Hardy . I have come to know him well and the breadth of his general knowledge and also his intellectual curiosity , even when I know he must be dog tired , is genuinely remarkable . Tim is also humane . When he is engaged in a battle he takes no prisoners but when anyone is in personal difficulty he is kind . He takes an interest in the lives-partners , children , pets , hobbies- of everyone with whom he comes into regular contact , teaching and non-teaching staff . And he cares very deeply for the pupils .
A leader cannot please all of the people all of the time . Stones get thrown in the pond from outside and opinions differ on the best way to dissipate the ripples . Tim has not pleased all of Common Room all of the time . But he has been a leader . Not the least of the many positives of his time here has been the historic introduction of girls to the school . This was first considered in 1899 – Wincoll doesn ’ t rush things ! But it was Tim who got it over the line , addressing and overcoming residual qualms and orchestrating careful preparation by a dedicated team . He has also made some very good appointments , giving him cause for optimism that the school for which
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