In most cases , both sides find this helpful and , where constructive feedback is given , the employer can learn from the leaver ’ s experience and perhaps avoid losing others . On other occasions , it is an opportunity to thank the employer . In a perfect world this is useful for both sides .
But do you live in a perfect world ?
All too often an employee sees this as an opportunity to settle old scores and perhaps to hit back at managers who either were not competent , or who the leaver believes were not competent . So , they give damning indictments on their former bosses and perhaps on colleagues , believing that they have secretly managed to hit back at those they dislike without any possible backlash . Whereas , in fact , in this very imperfect world , the opposite is often true .
So , what happens when you make disparaging or vicious remarks about your former colleagues and managers ? When they see or hear about it , it builds up resentment . “ Why couldn ’ t they say this to my face ?” they ask , full of righteous indignation ; perhaps forgetting that the complaints were justified .
And then they plot their revenge !
It sounds nasty and does not always happen , but there is a risk . References are frequently taken up and there is a dangerous myth that an employer cannot give a bad reference . They can and they often do . Defamation , I hear you cry ! Well , it is only defamation if it ’ s untrue . An angry but clever employer may well find things that are damaging to you that are true , even though overall you did a good job . This may seem one sided , and it is , but no one ever said this world is always fair . And , let ’ s be clear , how often does an employer tell you that you were turned down because of references ?
Of course , some people prefer to hit back on social media . This is really a very bad idea . Firstly , potential employers may not like to see these sorts of comments , even if they are about their competitors . More worryingly , where you have been damning about your former employer , it is entirely likely that they will see what you have written and work out that it is you . Let ’ s be honest , if you were bitter and twisted whilst working for them they probably knew it .
Negative comments on social media , including the so-called review sites , are at best unprofessional and at worst provocative and dangerous . It is far more likely that potential employers will ask your ex-employer about you than it is that a potential employer will ask you about them .
In short , there is really not very much upside in “ hitting back ” in this way but there is an enormous downside . When it comes to exit interviews and giving feedback , probably the best advice is the old adage , “ if you haven ’ t got anything good to say about someone , don ’ t say anything at all .”
In many cases you will feel that you do have some constructive criticisms , which you feel genuinely will be well received and taken on board . And , you will probably be right . To be sure , though , mention it to your line manager first .
After all , how many of us really welcome criticism , constructive or otherwise ?
For employers that really do want to get feedback , warts and all , then they need to be able to guarantee confidentiality and ensure that managers , or those criticised , cannot hit back . In a well-run organisation that feedback would pass freely before the employee leaves , but very few organisations are perfect .
“ If you haven ’ t got anything good to say about someone , don ’ t say anything at all .”
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