certainly hope that she won’t make the choice to speak
disrespectfully to me but more importantly if she does I
hope she does so knowing full well that she will be held
responsible for her actions. At least in her case that will
not involve a mother ignoring her behavior but instead
one that will not only hold her accountable but also let
herknowhowdisappointedIaminthechoiceshemade.
In today’s society it seems that younger generations are
growing up with an increasing sense of self entitlement
in a world in which success is harder to achieve. By
raising children with a sense that they deserve it all just
by nature of existing we are not doing them any favors.
Attending college is no longer an assurance of a well
paying job in the future. As we progress as a nation and
move into a global community, our world only becomes
more competitive. As a parent I want to make sure I
send my children off with the best tools I can provide
them and I think one of the biggest gifts we can give our
children is by teaching them responsibility.
I say all this with my now sleeping three year old lying
next to me. I think this is one of those times I won’t mention that she was supposed to be napping in her own
ityissuchthatshe’dpreferanyhumanepunishmentoverpossiblymissingout room, under the get out of bed or you lose a toy rule, but nonetheless wanonsomething.Thisismychildthatoncestayeduponaninternationalflightfor dered into my room under the guise of helping me work. I could not resist her
what equated to 3:00 in the morning central time simply because she wasn’t big brown eyes or the sweetness in her gesture even though it was likely just a
about to risk missing anything. As you can imagine bedtime became a chal- ploy to avoid her own bed. Of course she will likely hold me accountable for
lenge and I was quickly losing my sanity. I decided to have a talk with her myafternoonlapsewhenItrytore-instilltherulethisevening. Knowingthis,I
andexplainthatshewasgettingbiggerandshewasnowgoingtobemaking let her curl up next to me but at least I know the consequences or maybe I’m
some decisions on her own. We also talked about that along with the free- still learning too...
dom to make those decisions came the responsibility to make good choices
and when we end up not making good choices we have to live with the
Written by: Laura Parker
consequences. I try not to tell her she made a bad choice but instead talk in
terms of not making a good choice. I recently attended
a parenting class that focused on raising responsible
children and learned a few more skills.
Have I stumbled upon something extraordinary or
founded a new concept I seriously doubt it but it’s
something that I have become passionate about. I
must admit I did feel rather victorious when I ended
the drawn out, often tear-filled, power struggle over
bedtime. Itonlytookonce(andafewremindersastime
has gone by) for my daughter to know that I am going
to hold her accountable for her choices. Is it perfect?
No. Am I always consistent? Of course not, I get tired
and cranky too. But it has helped me focus on something that I think is very important. I want my daughter
to grow up knowing that along with freedom comes
responsibility. I won’t always be there to help her make
decisions but I hope that with a childhood filled with
opportunitiestomakechoicesandtobeheldaccountable for those choices she’ll carry that into the hard
teen years and beyond.
If we happen to be sitting in a diner in ten years I
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