Observations of a Mom in the Trenches
By no means do I hold myself out as any sort of expert on parenting. However, having made the
transformation from child to parent over the last thirty years I have noted some interesting if not
alarmingchangesinbothchildrenandparentsespeciallyintheareasofresponsibilityandrespect.
When did we stop teaching responsibility and respect as a whole and more
importantly when did we stop instilling it in our own children? I was recently
enjoyinglunchwithmyfamilyinadinerwhenawomanandhertwoteenage
daughters sat down at the table next to us. I was shocked to hear one of the
girls very loudly belittle her mother and then ask her in a mocking tone if she
was a moron. This mother did not even flinch at her daughter’s disrespectful
behavior nor did she make any attempt to address the situation. She simply
continued their conversation and lunch as if nothing out of the ordinary had
taken place. I think that is what shocked me the most- she did absolutely
nothing.
It made me think back to my own childhood. Granted my brother and I were
ordinarilymoreakintowildanimalsrunningthroughthestreetsofourneighborhoodwecertai nlyknewhowtoactlikecivilizedmembersofsocietywhen
need be. From an early age my parents took us with them to some of the nicestrestaurantsinHouston. MiraculouslymyrowdybrotherandImanagedto
makeitthroughcountlessfancybrunchesandsometimesstuffydinners.Iknow
there were times we made faux pas and times were so bored we’d have
rather been anywhere else but as an adult and parent I am immensely thankfultheytaughtustheseskills. Ishuddertothinkwhatwouldhavehappenedif
I’d talked to my mother the way the young girl I recently overheard spoke to
her mother. I know for certain that it would not have been overlooked nor
quickly forgotten.
respectjustasweearned other rights. As children we earned more freedoms
along with more responsibilities. As we wanted the freedom to stay out later
we quickly learned that it came with the responsibility of keeping track of
timeandcominghomewhenexpected.Whenweinevitablymademistakes
we were held
accountableand
lost some of that
freedom until
we were able
to once again
prove ourselves
responsible.
I think it is so
importantasparents to teach our
childrenresponsibility. One of
thefewconcepts
thatconsistently
gets through to my very bright but unbelievably hardheaded three year old
isresponsibility. Ofcourseshecouldn’ttellyouthatbutsheiscertainlyfamiliar
with the concept. If you ask her what happens if you get out of bed (except to
go to the bathroom!) after lights out she will quickly respond with“you take a
toy”.YoumaywonderhowthisteachesresponsibilityandImaybewrong,but
here’s my theory.
As I try to think back to how my parents taught me the concepts of respect
and responsibility I cannot recall specific“lessons”on the subject. I do know
that my parents led by example and that even as children we were always
treated with respect. However, we were familiar with the concept of earning At three I can no longer reasonably confine her to her bed and her personal
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Woman
TEXAS
FREDERICKSBURG
www.fbgwoman.com