A Different Look at
Rue McClanahan
there were just too many, as I call it, “ghosts,” too
many memories. That helped. But, I guess it is the
finality. In my case, I realize I will have zero closure.
None. Because the man would never speak to me,
he just ran away.
Rue: Well, thank God I finally got that done. I had
been running for 25 years and that hurt a whole lot.
You do need an answer. Have you ever taken anyone
with you to these places and not experienced the
panic if you had a companion?
Freya: No. One time I had my friend Vicky with
me...and it still happened. Just the other day… I was
walking up and down the aisles...I started to cry. I
guess it will eventually go away.
Rue: Maybe that’s part of the mourning.
Freya: Yes, it’s just so unusual. After I got the news
that Reggie had died, on our anniversary no less,
I had to go to print that week. I got the call on a
Sunday night. It was absolute madness, having to
go to print. So for that week, everyone kept coming in the office. The assistants, typists and graphic
people. I had “no eyes,” just swollen slits. I would
cry constantly, but I continued to work and did go to
print. I am going to write a story about it, that was
something.
“If you told me I would have a book
out, I’d have said ‘You’re crazy’!”
like it is in someone else’s head. It is in you and you
can get to it.
Freya: I thank you for the words of encouragement.
That’s part of sharing personal stories and what we
have been through. That’s where the encouragement
comes from in life. So many people don’t talk about
their problems.
Rue: That’s because they are afraid to. They think
that they are weird, and they are not. They’d be
weird if they didn’t have these problems.
Freya: I think, in a way, it is very ego-oriented and
narcissistic when people want to just look and feel
perfect.
Rue: It is just fear, that’s all. They don’t want
people to think that there is something wrong with
them or that they are weak.
Freya: Fear is extremely debilitating. It is not a good
emotion.
Rue: I wonder if there is a group that you could talk
to, like a group therapy session where you actually do
tell each other things.
Freya: You know what; I think I will do that, my
friend.
Freya: That’s a good idea. I have a lot of people,
some very good friends here that did come in and sit
with me. That was an interesting experience for me.
I never really experienced that sort of support in my
life. My Mom refers to me as “the warrior.” I am
a strong woman, but with this…I felt cut off at the
knees. I wish there was an answer.
Rue: You could even write a letter to Reggie.
Rue: There is – you have to grow up.
Freya: Well, I did write a letter to his mom.
Freya: I do need to grow-up.
Rue: No, I mean to him.
Rue: I mean everybody has to grow-up. We don’t
grow up at 21 or whatever.
Rue: I feel that writing a story about this would be
extremely beneficial to you.
Freya: Oh, to him.
Rue: You might even talk to him about it and ask
him to go to Wal-Mart with you next time. You
have to do this. You know, it would be really
wonderful if you had a therapist that would go to
Wal-Mart with you. Do some analytical stuff. That
would be hard to do by yourself. Take a notebook
with you, take notes, “I am walking down aisle 2 and
what’s on aisle 2 and how do I feel on aisle 2? Is it
just the overall general place or is it a specific thing?”
Freya: No, it is the general place, it hits the minute I
walk in there. I guess it is just memories. When you
have been like one person for 17 years, that connection just doesn’t go away. It never leaves you. It is
haunting. I have considered finding an appropriate
therapist. I guess the operative word would be “appropriate.” I don’t need to go into analysis. I don’t
need that. I just need someone to tell me, why this
is happening, and this is what I can do so I can get
on with it.
Rue: It is like having the flu. You aren’t going to
have it all of your life, but you have it right now and
right now is when you need a doctor to get you over
the flu. It can become a permanent thing if you
don’t get over it.
Freya: Yes, because it is so sub-conscious. It is absolutely not …conscious.
Rue: You know the important thing to remember?
The sub-conscious is there and you can get to it. It
may be hidden right now, but it is in there. It is not
64 Woman
The County
Magazine
too.
Freya: Well, I am thrilled. I always say God works
in strange ways.
Rue: It is amazing isn’t it?
Freya: It is, God’s networking. Here I was at your
Christmas party 3 years ago and, if you had told me
I would wind up being an editor and a publisher of a
magazine, I’d have said that you were crazy.
Rue: If you told me that I would have a book out, I’d
have said that you are crazy!
Freya: Right, it is a tough business. It is something.
But who knows? Maybe I can help you sell a couple
of million books! That would be a good as well.
Rue: Yes, that would be a very good thing.
Freya: Tell me about it! Rue, we talked about a lot
of things in this interview. Is there anything you
want me to exclude?
Rue: No. Just be sure to say M orrow and I are having our 10th anniversary and we love each other a
lot, which is true.
Freya: I know that is true. I will do that.
Rue: I am very proud of him.
Freya: I am excited about the Noel Coward show.
That’s fabulous. I’m glad he is getting out there and
doing his thing. It is about time, right?
Rue: He never thought he would be singing. He
thought he would be acting, but he is singing. And
this is something he is very excited about.
Freya: Well, Luba says he has a gorgeous voice.
Freya: I like maturity. I have gotten used to it. I
think maturity is kind of cool.
Rue: Yes he does. He has a good voice, a very good
voice. And she has helped to make it much stronger.
Rue: I’ll tell you what I love; I love the absence of
pain.
Freya: Well, you give Morrow my love, and I will
keep in touch. God Bless you Rue, and have the
absolute best Christmas of your life.
Freya: Oh, thank God, yes. The absence of pain!
I love it, yes. Well, it sounds like you are in a real
good spot in your life...a good time in your life.
Rue: Freya, let me be sure that you are going to take
care of yourself.
Rue: Well, I am and our marriage is in a good place.
We have a lot of simple things to keep working on.
Luckily, we are both willing to work.
Freya: I promise, I promise.
Freya: I am glad you are happy and that it is working
out. I can’t wait for your television show to come
out. Please let me know the date it is going to air In June, right?
Freya: You helped me a lot Rue, and I am very,
very appreciative. I am honored to have you on my
cover. I will make sure NYC and south Texas is
saturated with the beautiful face of Rue McClanahan!
Rue: Del Shores says he’ll have it all edited and
ready to go, and it will go on the air in June. For 12
shows.
Rue: I mean emotionally.
Rue: That’s grand!
Freya: Which network?
Freya: All right. Thank you so much, Rue!
Rue: Logo for at least for the first season. It is possible that he might sell it to a network after that.
Who knows? It depends on how well it does.
Rue: Thank you, Freya.
Freya: Well, I can’t wait to see it and I am so honored to have you on our cover, Rue. And, I bless you.
Rue: Well, I am proud of it. It is a good thing for me