Harmony through
Practical Spirituality:
A Powerful Solution
BY BILL BARNES, LCDC
“Wherever you go, there you are,” is a simple
truth that makes or breaks individuals and has
been doing so for generations. The life of every
person is impacted by this truth, but none so
powerfully as those of us who suffer from chemical dependency. Many folks live with the idea,
“if only I could have this, or be there, or do that,
then I would know satisfaction and happiness.”
Though none of these endeavors are a problem in
themselves, neither are they the solution. For in
the midst of everyday life, there I am -- just me, in
my own skin, with all my complexities. When we
mix all this with other people and our life situations, things can get really interesting.
We humans are a unique bunch, made up of
mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual components. Though each of these components have
their own set of needs and drives, they interact
together to make up the whole person. Abraham
Maslow identified a hierarchy of lower “instinctual” needs as physiological, safety and security, love
and belonging, and esteem. These lower needs
appear to have been genetically programmed into
us and have some influence regarding our personal
day-to-day survival, interaction with others and
our environment as a whole. He also identified the
higher role of self actualization, as coming into
harmony with the whole person and living up to
our highest potential.
My wife and I inherited a dog named Cricket from
one of our kids who really didn’t have the time
for a new puppy between the demands of work
and school. Cricket had spent the first six months
of her life mostly alone in an apartment. Consequently, she had developed some bad behaviors by
the time we got her, particularly when it came to
being home alone. She accepted the fact of being
alone during the day while we were away at work,
but once we were home for the evening, she had
different expectations. If we left to go somewhere
without her, there would be an act of revenge.
Though we never witnessed her obsessive behavior, the evidence was always there when we got
home. It might be a chewed up shoe, sometimes
the trash. Once, she even went so far as to initiate
our bed. In Cricket’s case, the needs for security,
love and belonging appeared to have been violated by the other “human” members of the pack.
Cricket’s instinctual response to this perceived
threat was to act out with negative behavior.
Similarly, if we run primarily on instinct, without
the tempering of practical spirituality, we too have
the potential to react in ways that only complicate
situations.
In our quest for happiness, some area of the lower
“instinctual” needs is usually the object of pursuit.
This may include everything from our primary
day-to-day physical needs, to our interaction with
others, and how we feel about ourselves in relation to all of that. The potential for problem arises
in the limited approach we often use. We may feel
driven to meet those needs, yet having met them,
we still find something is missing.
Well, “guess what?”-- something is missing. The
void we feel is the higher, spiritual part of self,
where our conscience, values and beliefs live. It
is the place where man meets his Higher Power
and finds inspiration for everyday living, a place
of spiritual principles that are intended to impact
how we conduct ourselves in the area of the lower
needs and determine how they are met. It is a
place out of which we live everyday life, where the
“rubber meets the road”, so to speak.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states,
on pg. 25, that “spirituality revolutionizes our
whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows,
and toward God’s universe”, (our environment). If
you noticed, that is the territory where the lower
“instinctual” needs are being played out every
moment of every day. If the spiritual portion of
my life is neglected, then I will be a four cylinder
person running on three cylinders, or components,
and something will always be missing. The lower
needs will be the dominant force and primary
decision maker in my life. If the means of achieving these needs are misdirected, they may conflict
with my own values, with my relationships or
spiritual principles. Living in this way is like walking though life blindly, driven by instinct alone
and remaining out-of-touch with self and others.
However, if the spiritual portion of my life is
awakened and made practical in daily living, it
will begin to impact the other components of
my life. First, it will provide the principles that
regulate how my physical, mental and emotional
components interact with each other. By creating
a life in alignment with an examined conscience,
values and belief system, I will develop harmony
within myself, the whole person. Secondly, it will
then impact the methods I use to get my day-to
-day physical needs met, what I give to others,
what I expect in return, and how I perceive myself
and my surroundings. Living practical spirituality will then produce an overall sense of harmony
within my environment.
As for Cricket, she eventually did learn to live in
peace and harmony with our family. As she felt
more secure and loved, she was no longer driven
by the deficiencies of her previous unmet needs.
As her sense of well being increased, her negative
behaviors began to diminish. She became more
comfortable with herself and in her environment.
The same can be said for us as we find love,
security, and a healthier sense of self. One of the
AA slogans we often hear is that, “it is an inside
job.” Rather than constantly looking for inner
fulfillment in something or someone out there, it
begins on the inside, working its way outward into
daily life. It is then that I will find a place of genuine satisfaction and happiness, in the here and
now, wherever that may be, rather than living in
conflict with everyday life, self or others. Now that
sounds like it has the ability to equip a person to
live up to their highest potential.
“Wherever you go, there you are.” Living in that
condition can be a bit of a problem. On the other
hand, if I can develop harmony through practical
spirituality, it can also be a powerful solution.
Bill Barnes