Transformation Through Chaos Transformation Through Chaos_Sneak Peak | Page 8

Transformation Through Chaos
The twins became responsible young men at that time and
never grumbled about the changes that took place in their young
lives. Let me just note that the twins were my father’s favorite chil-
dren and were used to having all they wanted prior to his death. Yet,
after he passed away, they stepped up and matured quickly.
I secured employment as well during my return home from col-
lege. During this time, I realized that I wanted to return to college
and pursue a master’s degree. I remained with my family in Miami,
Florida for eight months before returning to college in 1987.
In graduate school, I maintained that “education focused”
mindset. Yet, I encountered some resistance and chaos towards the
end of my graduate program. Let me preface that I was the only
black student in my graduate program at a predominantly white
university.
One of my graduate committee members would not sign off on
my internship without a letter of completion from the supervisor.
This situation was awkward for me. I asked myself why the profes-
sor was so adamant about not signing off on my internship.
I had taken several classes taught by this professor, and I had
also been a guest in her home along with other students. This pro-
fessor was familiar with me and my academic performance.
I was not one of 200 students, but one of 15 students. That
means I was not a number and my professor knew my name. Many
thoughts crossed my mind about the professor’s unwillingness to
sign off on my internship.
I wondered if my professor, who was white, thought I, a young
black female, was not worthy of receiving a master’s degree. This
entire process was difficult for me because I made several attempts to
reach the supervisor of my internship who avoided me for one year.
One can only imagine the gamut of feelings raging on the
inside of me. I concluded that the supervisor, who was white and
not formally educated, was threatened by me, a young black female,
pursuing a graduate degree.
Why did I think this? Well, the supervisor was not thrilled to
have me complete my internship at her agency. She was not engag-
ing or supportive throughout my internship. Lastly, her reluctance
to provide a letter of completion was another sign. Nevertheless,
quitting was not an option for me.
D xi E