Soft Skills
The complainer:
The organisation obviously has it in for this person because they complain that they are there, that things are unfair, find fault in the system, in fact everything but themselves! Deal with a complainer by:
• Being patient – they may have a genuine point
• Writing the complaint on a flip chart and say you will come back to it later – make sure you do!
• Shifting the focus to an area outside the complaint
• If necessary take them to one side in a break and find out the underlying cause and if it can be settled away from the training day
The antagonist:
Aggression is an ugly stance. Here the participant may be hostile or angry with someone or something causing them to lash out at others, justified or not. Dealing with an aggressive participant will need careful handling:
• Stay calm, stay cool
• Remain neutral
• Open up the discussion to others to see what they think
• Use your status as leader of the group to shift the focus
• Stay safe, back down if necessary
• Ask them to leave and take up their grievances through the appropriate channels
The quarreller:
A participant has decided for reasons of their own, to disagree with something you have said and is not willing to listen to other opinions. They can often be competitive, poor at listening and prone to exaggeration. Try the following approach:
• Acknowledge the positive parts of their argument and develop them further
• Change the focus and move on
• Say something like “ that’s an interesting stance…let’s talk about it later”
• Use their competitive streak to get them to come up with alternative solutions
• Agree to differ
The withdrawer:
Someone who is withdrawn, who refuses to get involved, can be just as disruptive as their louder colleagues. Ways to deal with them include:
• Ask for their opinions
• Find out what interests them
• Partner them with someone who will encourage them, not be over bearing
• Ask questions they can answer and give them positive feedback
• Give them to opportunity to lead a sub-group
Whatever the reason for your difficult participant’s behaviour there are some general things that you can do up-front. But being on top of your game means having a few tricks up your sleeve.
These include:
• Setting the ground rules at the beginning of the day about how you are going to work together for the day.
• Build rapport with the group before challenging them
• Use your status as temporary leader of the group for the day
• Use the power of the group to bring people with you
• Remember to check your own behaviour
One of the joys of being a trainer is the opportunity to work with a range of challenging characters and get them to work with you rather than against you. If you have been in the industry for any length of time you will know that you have to take the rough with the smooth.
So let’s hope that your difficult participants will appreciate your attempts to keep them on board and learning happily.
Berry Winter is a learning and development professional specialising in leadership development and teamwork using experiential training. She is a Director of JamBerry Ltd.
http://www.jamberry.co.uk